No matter what stage of life we are in, there always seems to be something that we feel we need to accomplish and/or attain before we can feel fully happy and content. Have you ever found yourself saying things like - I'll be happy when I find a new boyfriend; I'll be happy when I start making more money; I'll be happy when I'm finished my degree; I'll be happy when I lose weight; I'll be happy when I find a job I like, etc. It's almost as if happiness and contentment will be available to us once we reach a certain destination, and only then will life be good again. I can understand how these thoughts start innocently enough, because it's important to set goals for yourself and aim high and not settle, but it's even more important not to miss out on what's happening in your life right NOW...
When you find yourself pre-occupied and focused on some future event, it's called postponing your life. You're postponing your life and your ability to be truly happy to a future date when then, oh then, you will finally get what you want and life will be good. It's a certain lack of acceptance of what "is". Right now you don't have what you want. You are somewhere in the middle. You feel you need and deserve something else. Maybe you see your friends get the things you want, so that contributes to your feelings of need even further. You may feel lonely, unfulfilled, empty, confused, frustrated, bored, and you are assuming and absolutely counting on the fact that when you get a boyfriend, move, have money, lose weight, etc you will no longer feel that way.
In Geneen Roth's book "Women Food and God" she explains that this idea of reaching a desired event and then counting on it bringing you happiness, you are living in a fantasy. She says these desired events are "fantasies in your mind and they are in the future, a future that never comes. Because when your goals are reached, they will be reached the "right now". And in the "right now" you will still be you, doing the same things you do now. You will stand up. Walk around. Get root canals. Open the refrigerator door. Sleep. Feel happy. Feel devastated. Feel lonely. Feel loved. Get old. Die."
It is simple: We are where we should be, doing what we should be doing. Otherwise we would be somewhere else, doing something different. When you miss the present moment, you miss life. When you miss those moments because you'd rather be somewhere else doing something different, you are missing your own life.
It always comes back to this core truth: That no person, place, or thing can provide you lasting fulfillment and happiness. No one is charge of your happiness but yourself. Once you realize this, you learn to to put your energy into securing your happiness right here right now. You must CHOOSE to be be happy, content, and fulfilled right here and right now, regardless of your circumstances or current life situation.
God willing, you will get to that much desired next step, and you will get there on His terms and in His timing. You'll find that new boyfriend, you'll get a new job, you'll graduate from university - but if you can get to that destination feeling happy and fulfilled every step of the way, that truly is a beautiful life. Choose to live that way. :)
I choose!!! Awesome post Linds :)
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