Soul Poison

When you are gripped with resentment towards anyone, it is like poison to your soul. It's been said that "resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die". It truly is an emotionally debilitating condition when unresolved. 

There are countless numbers of injustices in this world. Every day terrible things happen to good people. Everybody has a heart-breaking story they could tell you. All too often people are used, taken advantage of, humiliated, rejected, abandoned, lied to, mistreated, mislead, and disrespected. It's not fair, it's not right; but it's life, and no one said it was a joy ride. Nobody ever deserves it, but nobody is ever sheltered from it either.

When you hold resentment in your heart and soul, you are making someone else responsible for how you continue to feel NOW, even though the offense had taken place in the past. When you hold resentment in your soul, you will continue to HOLD ON to your feelings of hurt and will actually continue to grow in resentment with time. When you hold onto resentment, you are blocking the flow of love into your heart, and you won't be able to fully appreciate all that you currently have. When you hold onto resentment there are serious long-term effects and characteristics that you will eventually develop such as: hostility, a lack of personal and emotional growth, trouble trusting others, loss of self-confidence, and many other consequences that will become a barrier against healthy relationships with others. 

If you have been wronged in the past, and you haven't fully let go of that, please open your heart and take this into consideration: Nobody is perfect, we are all sinners. We have all been hurt at some time or another and I can guarantee you we all directly or indirectly have done something to hurt someone else. The ONLY solution to all of this can be summed up in one word: forgiveness. To forgive is to release the other person from being responsible for how we feel. By finding forgiveness, we are then free to LET GO of our pain. 

Forgiveness frees us from continuing to hold onto our pain. "When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free." Recognize that only YOU have the power to let go of your pain. Keep in mind that forgiveness does not make what happened to you okay. It doesn't free the other person from any burden or guilt they might be feeling from what they've done to you. It doesn't mean you to have to be friends with the person, and it doesn't even mean that you will forget about it. It means that you have found forgiveness in your heart so that you no longer have to suffer anymore from what happened in the past. That person has hurt you enough, why are you letting them continue to hurt you? Why are you letting your past dictate to your future? Why are allowing your suffering to continue while they are likely doing just fine in their lives? THAT is injustice. You have the power to  heal your heart, and cleanse your soul of that poison and get free. 

Take a second to be honest with yourself and evaluate how much of what you're feeling now has to do with the past, and how much has to do with the present. Choose to use your energy and emotions for healing and resolution. Find forgiveness. Find freedom. 

"If you hug to yourself any resentment against anybody else, you destroy the bridge by which God would come to you" 

- Peter Marshall 

I'm Contagious

Nothing kills the mood faster than a "Debbie-downer"; someone who has nothing but negative things to say. Negativity can be contagious. All it takes is one person complaining about one thing and then others will soon chime in with their similar complaints and whines on the subject, and before you know it the whole room is in a sombre bitter mood. Thankfully, I've found that as quick as negativity can be contagious, so can positivity be! In the same way, all it takes is one person to change the subject, clear the air, and lighten the mood. One happy person in a social circle has the power to influence the whole group with their happiness. I have come up with 3 easy ways you can be contagiously happy and positive. I urge you to give these a try!

Break the chain: Gossip is often prevalent in any social group. Get two or more people together and it's only a matter of time before they start to swap stories of what he-said and she-said. When you walk into one of these social settings, make it your duty to break the chain!! If they are talking about how Suzy is wearing an awful outfit, be the first to say something positive about poor Suzy there! Be the first to point out that she has beautiful eyes, or is such a hard worker and a great friend. Break the chain and point out the positive in everyone, everything.

Smile: This one seems so simple, but yet so many times we pass plenty of people throughout our day without so much as acknowledging them, let alone smiling at them. It takes no time and barely any effort at all, but it may very well change someone's mood or get their minds of something negative, even for that brief moment. I was eating in a food court recently by myself, and an older gentleman sat at a table directly across from me. I made eye contact with him and gave him a sincere smile, and he smiled back. After he finished eating, he came up and told me to have a great evening and that was the first time he smiled in a long time. Who knows what he could have been going through, but just the fact that someone acknowledged him, and gave him a smile was enough to encourage him to smile again. It's so simple and it can do wonders for people in ways you may never know.

Dance! Wherever there is music, the opportunity is there! I've danced in the grocery store aisle pushing my cart buying a frozen pizza, I've danced in my car at a red light much to the delight (or confusion) of other drivers around me, and you better believe I'm always on that dance floor if there is one available to me! Dancing is KEY to creating a happy positive environment that is contagious to everyone in the room. Take for example weddings: the funnest and most memorable part of the evening is the dance portion! You don't have to be any good at it, actually it's probably better if you don't have formal training because then you can really let your hair down and give 'er without any reservations or proper technique. Don't worry about what others are thinking, don't worry about how you look, just please take a tip from Lady Gaga and just DANCE. It's simple, it's effective, and it will encourage others to do the same.

You have the power to make someone's day, to change someone's mood, or to be a moment of sunshine in an otherwise gloomy day. Be contagiously happy. Choose to break the chain, smile, and of course... DANCE. :)

"Be truly glad. There is wonderful joy ahead."
1 Peter 1:6



Get Real!

It seems like there are way too many people in society today that are far too sensitive. More and more people seem to be outraged by particular words, images, phrases, music, TV shows, and so on for their lack of political-correctness; (for example, the demand to teach school children that it’s a “Spring Sphere” and not an “Easter Egg”). It really hurts my heart that people can be so intolerant of others, and find it so difficult to co-exist with people of varying cultural backgrounds, religions, beliefs and values. It seems like nowadays you almost need to provide a full disclosure to your audience before you can even speak your mind and be honest, and I feel that there is something incredibly wrong with that…

It’s a decision of staying true to your authentic self, OR censoring your authentic self to be acceptable to everyone else. Now, being a young woman that proudly wears her heart on her sleeve and is not afraid to speak her mind, I've found that most people are appreciative of an alternative view and opinion on matters. I’ve found that it’s far better to be REAL and be YOU than to try to please everyone and not hurt anyone’s feelings. I’ve found that it's exhausting to censor yourself and then live with the many thoughts and feelings left unsaid that will continue to stir inside of you. I’ve found that you can say almost anything if it’s coming from a place of love and not intolerance and hatred. I've found that most people appreciate pure honesty over the sugar-coated truth. I've found that people cannot evolve and grow if they are only being told what they want to hear.

When you stop being YOU and start being what you think everyone else needs and wants to hear, you’re not being real. The core of this issue is lack of CONFIDENCE -  confidence in yourself and in what you believe, confidence and awareness of what your heart tells you, and being fearless enough to share it with the world without the sugar coating. You never know when what you said will linger in someone’s mind and change their life forever, or vice versa! Personally, I have learned some of my greatest life lessons from  listening and contemplating what others had to say.

Here are 10 things you should know:

1. Your hair matters far, far, less than you think

2. In fact, the way you look matters far less than you think

3. "Can I ask a dumb question" is never a good thing to say

4. In fact, asking for permission to speak is never a good idea at all

5. While we're on this subject, don't speak too fast because you're afraid of wasting your listener's time. Listening to what you have to say is the highest and best use of anyone's time. Even if your hair looks terrible.

6. And don't edit what you say before you say it. that would be getting in the way of truth, and worse, of your heart.

7. You are already working approx 25% harder than you have to to get the result you want. Chillax.

8.Don't hang out with anyone who doesn't understand why you're so wonderful, or who needs to be told, or who doesn't tell you at regular intervals or when you forget

9. The little voice you keep ignoring is the only one you should ever listen to.

10. Love

(Excerpt from "What I know now: Letters to my younger self" By Ellyn Spragins)

“He who trims himself to suit everyone will soon whittle himself away.”  ~Raymond Hull

After a while

A good friend of mine passed this along to me a few months ago. It means more to me now than it would have a year prior. I can really relate to this, and I agree and understand it entirely. Thank you L for passing this along!

After A While

By Veronica A. Shoffstall

After a while you learn

the subtle difference between

holding a hand and chaining a soul

and you learn

that love doesn't mean leaning

and company doesn't always mean security.

And you begin to learn

that kisses aren't contracts

and presents aren't promises

and you begin to accept your defeats

with your head up and your eyes ahead

with the grace of woman, not the grief of a child

and you learn

to build all your roads on today

because tomorrow's ground is

too uncertain for plans

and futures have a way of falling down

in mid-flight.

After a while you learn

that even sunshine burns

if you get too much

so you plant your own garden

and decorate your own soul

instead of waiting for someone

to bring you flowers.

And you learn that you really can endure

you really are strong

you really do have worth

and you learn

and you learn

with every goodbye, you learn...

Balancing Act

I have been practicing yoga for a few years now, and it never ceases to amaze me what my body is capable of doing. In particular, the balancing postures can be incredibly challenging, however, once I manage to attain the posture in perfect breath and balance – it’s quite empowering. I feel such calm and peace -  I feel strong and in control. Balance is a beautiful thing. One day while leaving my Ashtanga yoga class recently (with my blissful yoga-high I always experience) I got to thinking about how I can obtain balance in all areas of my life in order to feel that calm and empowerment at all times. Achieving balance in life is a difficult task to undertake.

I don’t think I can find one person that will tell me they aren’t busy at all in their lives. There always seems to be a multitude of things going on at any given moment. We’re all champion multi-taskers; constantly juggling our commitments, relationships, work, hobbies, and more. How does one achieve balance in this day and age? It seems nearly impossible sometimes doesn’t it?

Through my own life experiences and many tough lessons learned in values and priorities, I’ve come up with one possible solution. I believe that if you establish what the 4-quadrants of your life are, and then work to maintain an equal and appropriate balance of all 4, you will live a much happier and balanced life. Let me explain the 4-quadrants:

Physical: Your health. You are exercising regularly and eating right.

Realtionships: The quality of your relationships with friends and family.

Career: Your job and/or your education you are taking for your future career

Spirit: Your spirituality and relationship with God. The BIG picture.

If any of these 4 are out-weighing another, or if one is non-existant, I have found that it's quite difficult to achieve a sense of balance and fulfilment in your life. For example, if you work all day and then work overtime and then proceed to work for hours in the gym - your relationships tend to suffer. You have nothing left to give them after being mentally and physically drained from only 2 quadrants. Or on the other extreme, maybe you love spending time with your boyfriend/girlfriend, and now your relationship with God is suffering, or you have no spare time to take care of your body and health.

With that said, it goes without saying that there is a time and a season for everything. There will be times when it's nearly impossible to achieve a perfect balance. There are transition periods, and periods of absolute change. That's just life. The important part is that you are growing, and working towards achieving a consistent and lasting balance. The key word here is: awareness. You are aware of what choices you are making and how they effect the quality of your life.

Living an imbalanced life is truly an injustice towards yourself and the people in your life. It's without a doubt that life is precious, and far too short. Our days are numbered, and tomorrow is never guaranteed. It's crucial to establish a balance of the 4-quadrants in order to live a rich and abundant, happy and fulfilling life. Do yourself a huge favour and run an evaluation of how your 4-quadrants are doing, and then take the necessary steps to balance them; your life is waiting for you.


"The calm and balanced mind is the strong and great mind; the hurried and agitated mind is the weak one."
-Wallace D. Wattles