Monday, August 8, 2011

Open Hearts and Open Doors

I've always worn my heart on my sleeve. My emotions are never hidden. I'm rather transparent, really. I've allowed myself to be in a rather vulnerable position many times, and with that being said, what do ya know -I've had my heart shattered, many times. It's hard to bring yourself to such a place of vulnerability, but I believe it takes incredible strength and maturity to make yourself vulnerable. A vulnerable person is a fearless person. One of the most important gifts you can offer to yourself and everyone around you is an open heart. When your heart is open, love flows freely to us, and through us to others, while "a closed heart is the worst prison."

When you get your heart broken (which I'm sure you are all familiar with in one way or another), it's common to build yourself a protective coating around your heart. You fence it off with many walls and you wear your armour and shield to ward off any potential threats. You don't allow yourself to be vulnerable again, because that would mean it's possible for you to experience that painful heartbreak yet again. So you close your heart to protect yourself from any further rejection. With a closed heart, it's nearly impossible to allow love and happiness to penetrate through. You may become bitter, resentful, mistrusting, afraid. You start to second guess that you are even deserving of love (low self-worth) or that anyone can be trusted. You refuse to run the risk of revealing your heart to anyone and so you keep you guard up; not knowing all the while you are missing out on the opportunities to heal and experience real love. Opening your heart isn't easy; it means exposing to someone your scars from the past. But it is only through an open heart that you can find love again. With an open heart, you have room for growth, forgiveness, and change.

So how do you open your heart? Well, there are a number of ways to go about doing that. Here's a little checklist I made up to see if you are on the "open road":

- Have you properly grieved any loss/heartbreak you may have experienced? Before anything can happen properly, you need to do this. I'll be honest  here- it's pretty brutal. I will dedicate an entire post to getting through grief one day, I promise. But trust me - it is well worth the time and emotional investment to do this step thoroughly.

- Have you taken a lesson from your past relationships/heartbreaks? It may be time to do a bit of self-reflection and analysis here. How have you contributed to the demise of the relationship? What could you do differently in the future? Were there red flags in the relationship that you may have ignored? What changes, if any, do you need to make in order to prevent this from happening again?

- FORGIVE FORGIVE FORGIVE. Forgive yourself for any mistakes. Forgive the other person(s) involved in the heartbreak. Forgive God for allowing it to happen (it was for your benefit after all). Forgive everyone, everything. If you do not forgive you will build up resentment in your heart, which is poison to your soul (see my "Soul Poison" post for more info). It's deadly stuff.

- Love yourself. Take the time to regain your emotional independence. Build up your self-worth and self-respect. Surround yourself with positive people that love you unconditionally.

 - MOVE ON. If you've properly completed the above steps, your heart should be in great shape. It's time to extend love to everyone. To get love, you must give love.Throw out positive energy to the universe.This is the time where the universal law  "you reap what you sow" comes into play. Keep your mind open, and your heart open, and stay positive. Love God, love yourself, love everyone that comes into your life. "Wherever you go, go with all your heart".

I've gone through this entire process, so I'm living proof that it works. Although I haven't yet found love again, I'm confident that I will. My heart overflows with love and peace and joy and fulfillment. So be unafraid to love or fail. Say the things you need to say to people, and don't hold back. Tell people you love them. Be vulnerable. Open your mind. Open your heart. Love.

"Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things"
 1 Corinthians 13:7

PS. Please watch this entire video and listen to the words. This WILL be played at my wedding ;)

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