Keeping Up

Then I observed that most people are motivated to success because they envy their neighbors. But this, too, is meaningless--like chasing the wind – Ecclesiastes 4:4

The other day I went for a bike ride with my fiancé around our neighbourhood. We ventured off into some beautiful older areas of the City and saw some stunning homes and landscapes. I would stop and say “Wow! Look at that one!” and in a matter of minutes later I would find myself saying “But oh my, would you look at THAT one!” They kept getting nicer and nicer, more appealing and luxurious. It got me to thinking, when is enough enough? When are we really satisfied with what we have, and do we every really stop wanting to improve and get into something bigger and better? What is really motivating all our hard work in the first place? Are we really just trying to out-do our neighbours, or “keep up with the Joneses”? Looking at one’s neighbour as the standard and benchmark of success will leave you feeling dissatisfied and unsettled, a trap you do not want to find yourself in.

You can simply flip through any magazine or watch any commercial break on tv and you will be met with a steady stream of images which will confirm the fact that there are much nicer houses, cars, outfits, and bodies then yours. No sooner than a few days after you purchase that shiny new car and feel that beaming sense of pride and gratification, will you see someone drive by in the deluxe edition that is just that much nicer than yours. That instant gratification we feel when we buy something new feels great, but alas, wait a little while and it will surely wear off. When we are constantly striving to achieve more and more, it robs us of our joy in the present moment. We are no longer satisfied with what we currently have; we are discontent. We get caught in a hamster wheel when we start comparing ourselves to others, and comparison is the biggest thief of joy. The joy of embracing the things and the people we DO have in our life are overshadowed by what we do not have. “Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for.” - Epicurus

I’ve found that I am most happy, at peace, and content when I take time every single day to thank God for what He has provided to me, and where I am in my life right NOW. The easiest way to do this is to simply write out a Gratitude List. I’m a big list-taker, but this one is the most important over any to-do or to-buy list I’ll ever make! It takes only a few minutes, and is incredibly rewarding. I know what some of you may be thinking – “Yeah sure that’s nice and all, but I’m having a really bad year, everything is going wrong, all these terrible things have happened, I don’t have much to be grateful for right now.” Well I can assure you, I have been there too. There was a time in my life where my gratitude list had items on it like “I’m grateful I have toothpaste” and “I’m grateful I have breathe in my lungs”, when it seemed like I didn’t have a lot else going for me. Being grateful for all that you have will grant you the peace that you so desperately need in order to truly enjoy your life.

Let’s stop this vicious cycle of wanting more and more, and start accepting what we have. Give yourself days filled with joy and peace, not dissatisfaction and discontentment. Soon enough you’ll come to understand what I finally have – that the best things in life are not things. 

"Be content with what you have;

rejoice in the way things are.

When you realize there is nothing lacking,
the whole world belongs to you." – Lao Tzu