A blocked doorway is a concept my friend and I devised to better comprehend a common scenario we ran into from time to time. Basically, it means that there is a something in the way; something or someone is disallowing your heart to truly be open. Oftentimes you don't even know your doorway is blocked, so you continue to make certain choices and repeat certain behaviours not realizing they are keeping you from fully opening your heart.
Once you understand what/who is blocking your doorway, you have the power to drastically change your circumstances. I know of some pretty incredible stories of women who removed the stubborn doorway-blockers from their lives and then went on rather quickly to find love again, or true happiness and fulfillment.
Here are the 2 most common doorway blockers:
Doorway Blocker #1 - The ex-factor: You still have an attachment to your ex-partner. He/she is standing in your doorway and blocking anyone else from coming in. As much you want to move on and develop feelings for other people in your life now, it's impossible.
You may be physically attached still - using their bodies to comfort you "in the meantime" until you find someone new. You crave the familiarity so you succumb to the arrangement of "friends with benefits". Not only is this incredibly immature and immoral, it's actually delaying the whole process of moving on in the first place. The longer you stay attached to someone who is wrong for you the longer it's going to take for you to create space in your life and heart for love again, with someone who may be right for you.
You also may be emotionally attached to them still. If you are not physically with them anymore - you still secretly long for reconciliation. You play the "what ifs" over and over in your head. You are convinced that once you do A, B, and C it will magically work out and you will be happy and together again. You play over a dream scenario in your head and convince yourself that in time he/she will come to their senses one day and want you back. It's time to free yourself emotionally from this person and create that open space in your heart.
Doorway Blocker #2 - The fear-factor: Your fear can show up wearing many different masks. It shows up as anxiety, over-analyzing, skepticism, and worrying. Also, sometimes we are so TERRIFIED that we set unrealistic expectations for your potential mates to meet. You'll think of a millions reasons why it would never work out, not realizing it is your own fear that is disallowing you to take a risk and approach this person with an open your heart. I should mention, this is completely separate from having non-negotiable standards (as in, they must share the same faith as you, they must not smoke or do drugs, and other non-negotiables as the case may be). But if you find yourself using excuses like "well he's not my type" "She doesn't like the same sports I do", or "he wears funny shoes", or "he doesn't have a six-pack, this will never work". That is likely your fear talking. Apart from your non-negotiables, it's truly beneficial to meet people out of your familiar comfort-zone. Your "type" may not have been working for you. Time to open your mind a bit. Kick the fear out of the doorway; it's blocking any good from getting in.
Unblocking your doorway isn't easy, it takes a lot of courage, especially if it means you need to make a drastic change in your life. But you can do this! Don't let anyone or anything stand in the way of reaching your goals and dreams. Be courageous. Be strong. And do everything with love. (1 Corinthians 16:13). Do a quick evaluation of your choices and behavior and ask yourself if you have any stubborn doorway blockers you need to get rid of and keep that door wide open, because really - if you create any open space in your life, love will eventually fill it.
"Think about any attachments that are depleting
your emotional reserves. Consider letting them go."
Very insightful
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