Keeping Up

Then I observed that most people are motivated to success because they envy their neighbors. But this, too, is meaningless--like chasing the wind – Ecclesiastes 4:4

The other day I went for a bike ride with my fiancé around our neighbourhood. We ventured off into some beautiful older areas of the City and saw some stunning homes and landscapes. I would stop and say “Wow! Look at that one!” and in a matter of minutes later I would find myself saying “But oh my, would you look at THAT one!” They kept getting nicer and nicer, more appealing and luxurious. It got me to thinking, when is enough enough? When are we really satisfied with what we have, and do we every really stop wanting to improve and get into something bigger and better? What is really motivating all our hard work in the first place? Are we really just trying to out-do our neighbours, or “keep up with the Joneses”? Looking at one’s neighbour as the standard and benchmark of success will leave you feeling dissatisfied and unsettled, a trap you do not want to find yourself in.

You can simply flip through any magazine or watch any commercial break on tv and you will be met with a steady stream of images which will confirm the fact that there are much nicer houses, cars, outfits, and bodies then yours. No sooner than a few days after you purchase that shiny new car and feel that beaming sense of pride and gratification, will you see someone drive by in the deluxe edition that is just that much nicer than yours. That instant gratification we feel when we buy something new feels great, but alas, wait a little while and it will surely wear off. When we are constantly striving to achieve more and more, it robs us of our joy in the present moment. We are no longer satisfied with what we currently have; we are discontent. We get caught in a hamster wheel when we start comparing ourselves to others, and comparison is the biggest thief of joy. The joy of embracing the things and the people we DO have in our life are overshadowed by what we do not have. “Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for.” - Epicurus

I’ve found that I am most happy, at peace, and content when I take time every single day to thank God for what He has provided to me, and where I am in my life right NOW. The easiest way to do this is to simply write out a Gratitude List. I’m a big list-taker, but this one is the most important over any to-do or to-buy list I’ll ever make! It takes only a few minutes, and is incredibly rewarding. I know what some of you may be thinking – “Yeah sure that’s nice and all, but I’m having a really bad year, everything is going wrong, all these terrible things have happened, I don’t have much to be grateful for right now.” Well I can assure you, I have been there too. There was a time in my life where my gratitude list had items on it like “I’m grateful I have toothpaste” and “I’m grateful I have breathe in my lungs”, when it seemed like I didn’t have a lot else going for me. Being grateful for all that you have will grant you the peace that you so desperately need in order to truly enjoy your life.

Let’s stop this vicious cycle of wanting more and more, and start accepting what we have. Give yourself days filled with joy and peace, not dissatisfaction and discontentment. Soon enough you’ll come to understand what I finally have – that the best things in life are not things. 

"Be content with what you have;

rejoice in the way things are.

When you realize there is nothing lacking,
the whole world belongs to you." – Lao Tzu



The New Chapter

"Other people are going to find healing in your wounds. Your greatest life messages and your most effective ministry will come out of your deepest hurts.” - Rick Warren

First of all, I want to say HELLO to all my dedicated readers and supporters. It’s been a while since my last post, and I thought I would reconnect with you first by catching you up on where I am and where I am going with this blog.

The last 6 months I’ve been blessed with a completely new stage of life. It is as though all the hard personal work and healing and praying I did for the past year and a half all came to fruition at once. My prayers have been answered in such a way that I cannot even begin to articulate. I feel blessed beyond measure. The only way I can describe this period of my life is “a miracle”. Problems that I thought to be impossible to fix vanished overnight. Questions that I had about how things would ever turn around suddenly made perfect sense. Dreams I would ponder on and add to my proverbial “bucket list” were being ticked off at record speed. Not only did the Lord connect me with my life partner and future husband, He completely transformed every facet of my life in the process. Needless to say, I’ve been on quite the whirlwind of an adventure and haven’t had a lot of time to post on my blog!

With all this being said, I am happy to be in a position again to have some time to share with you. If you haven’t read any posts of mine before, here is an idea of what it’s about:

I’m not a professional writer, I didn’t go to school for this. I don’t know anything about web design or how to make it successful. I don’t have any desire to make money online or sell anything for personal gain. All I know is that God placed it on my heart to serve others through sharing my stories.

I’m an open book. I am transparent and I am not afraid to express anything I’m feeling. Above all, my compassion for others is something I cannot justly articulate. My heart longs for others to live a life of uncommon joy, peace and love.

I don’t claim to know it all, and my life is not perfect. I do know, however, some of the Truths of life that are unchanging. I do know the word of the Lord endures and that my life has completely changed by welcoming Him into my heart and into my life. I do know that some things in life happen so perfectly that they could only be explained as a “divine intervention”. I do know that although we each have the freedom to make our own choices in life, the plans God has for you FAR FAR exceed your wildest dreams and goals. I continue to be shocked and amazed almost every day at how He worked literally every angle of my life together for my good, and far beyond anything I ever thought was achievable in my circumstances.

As my life changes started to arrive, so did the opportunities to put into practice some of the lessons I’ve learned. I will continue to make mistakes and poor choices. I will continue to fail and fall short of all that I know I am called to be. I will never be perfect and neither will my fiancé. This new chapter in my life has blessed me so greatly, and I am also very grateful for the challenges that have and will come up – as I know I am continually being shaped and prepared for even greater things.

It is my goal to have my blog encourage you along your own journey - to help you escape from self-defeating cycles, and to take the high road. To comfort you in knowing you are not alone. To share with you the love that overflows out of my own heart. To inspire you to live a life of inexpressible joy, as I am. I hope you enjoy reading it. J

  

This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun! 2 Corinthians 5:17

The Green-Eyed Monster

“Jealousy, that dragon which slays love under the pretence of keeping it alive.”       – Havelock Elis

We are all familiar with the story: Boy meets girl, they start dating, fall in love. They enjoy the warm fuzzy feelings of newfound love - the butterflies in the tummy, the excitement of new experiences, the anticipation of things to come. This is the fleeting period of time where caution is thrown to the wind and you’re head over heels in love. You feel on top of the world and enjoy the validation of your new identity as a “significant other” to someone else! Fast forward about 6 months, however, and the dynamic has changed. The butterflies in your tummy have been replaced with tight knots. The carefree feelings in your mind have been replaced with paranoia and anxiety. Jealousy has taken its toll and has poisoned your relationship. Your love starts to feed on the required sense of need and possession, as opposed to the freedom and trust it once had. Now your sense of security is at risk. The poison has clouded your judgement. You start to compare, you feel threatened, you imagine the worst-case scenario. The poison of jealousy is getting stronger, and you are teetering on the edge of being altogether toxic. There is a reason why my post, Passion/Poison has been the most-read and shared post of all time – toxic love relationships are dangerously easy to find yourself in; and jealousy is the biggest trap of all.

At its core, I believe jealousy is plainly and simply a personal insecurity. We perceive the appearance, personality, or strengths of others as threats to our own well-being. To have this distorted perception in life is to be lacking in self-worth and value. Maybe you were hurt badly in past relationships, or perhaps you are healing from growing up with an absent parent, or maybe you were wounded by addictions or abuse – the unfortunate truth of the matter is that we all have been hurt and wounded in some way, and we have the emotional scars to prove it.

The problem with letting these past hurts effect our current lives and relationships is that we choose to continue to be a victim. We continue to believe the lie that was told to us in the past that made us start to question our value and worth. You carry the lie with you into relationship after relationship, and therefore the cycle continues. You believe you are unworthy of being treated properly because you were not shown this in the past, so you believe that your partner will find someone better than you to love. This is a lie. This is a poison that will slowly but surely kill your love and your relationship. When you feel that familiar emotion of jealousy creep into your tummy – recognize right away and own the FACT that it is never about the other person, it is always about something deep inside of you that still needs to be healed. Hold yourself accountable for your reactions and turn your attention inward. Replace the lie with truth. “Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” Romans 12:21

Along with insecurity, jealousy is often nothing more than the fear of abandonment. Be being jealous, we attempt to control our partner and as such prevent any possibility of getting hurt by them. In order for love to flourish, we need to allow our partner the freedom to be exactly who they are, and this includes allowing them to do anything they choose to do.  Sometimes we think we need to make our partner be a certain way in order for us to remain secure in our relationship. We try to maintain control of them with the clever use of flirting, manipulation, deceit, lies and games.  Sure, this may work temporarily, but it’s only going to get you so far before your partner starts to resent you due to their lack of freedom. Do NOT allow anyone to manipulate you in the name of love. It’s a matter of acceptance of what “is” and trusting the natural order of the universe and the will of God and His plans for you and your partner. “The one who loves you, loves you just the way you are. Because if someone wants to change you, it means you are not what that person wants. You cannot change other people. You love them or you don’t. You accept them the way they are, or you don’t. To try to change them to fit what you want them to be is like trying to change a dog for a cat, or a cat for a horse.” Don Miguel Ruiz, The Mastery of Love.

To cure jealousy is to see it for what it is – a dissatisfaction with self. Do not let this green-eyed monster poison your love and your relationship. Use every instance of jealousy in your relationship as an opportunity to turn your attention inward and heal, and to replace lies with truth. Only then will you truly be able to experience love in the way God intended it be enjoyed – love as a truly freeing and beautiful experience to be shared with not only your partner, but to everyone you encounter in the world.

"Jealousy is simply and clearly the fear that you do not have value.  Jealousy scans for evidence to prove the point - that others will be preferred and rewarded more than you.  There is only one alternative - self-value.  If you cannot love yourself, you will not believe that you are loved.  You will always think it's a mistake or luck.  Take your eyes off others and turn the scanner within.  Find the seeds of your jealousy, clear the old voices and experiences.  Put all the energy into building your personal and emotional security.  Then you will be the one others envy, and you can remember the pain and reach out to them."        ~Jennifer James

Come as you are

“Our greatest strength as a human race is our ability to acknowledge our differences; our greatest weakness is our failure to embrace them.” – Judith Henderson

There is nothing that aggravates me more than one’s intolerance of another human being. Have you ever been hated just because you are whom God made you to be? That has got to one of the cruelest human acts I can think of. We constantly hear about the horrid details of bullying in schools or through social media. Children and teens have gone so far as suicide they could no longer cope with the unrelenting abuse and attacks of their being. And it doesn’t get better as you get older either. There isn’t an office in business that is without its share of office politics, cliques, and gossiping. Worst of all, there continues to be an underlying tone of intolerance world-wide of different races and religions creating multitudes of injustice, murders and hate crimes. Intolerance is a huge problem, and the problem starts with each and every one of us.

We’re all guilty of raising an eyebrow at the woman walking the street corner, the drug addict or alcoholic making a scene, or the homeless man begging for money. Or maybe you roll your eyes when you encounter people of a certain race or religion and are annoyed by the way they speak, drive, walk or even how they generally interact with others. We already have a pre-conceived notion about this person based on our own personal belief system, and we decide we don’t like them at all; and so it begins. It is much easier to judge and condemn than it is to understand and love. It’s important to understand the “why” in why person is a certain way. If you only took the time to listen to their stories, sometimes filled with tears and shame, you would be ashamed of yourself for not offering these people anything less than sincere compassion. Replace your judgements and criticism with love and acceptance, and you will reap the benefits of doing this. The results will not only bring you inner-peace, but also a moment of peace to the poor souls who are so deserving of it as well.

God sometimes puts different and sometimes difficult people in your life to challenge you, to chisel away at you and make you more like Jesus. Let’s face it - people are going to get on your nerves. People are going to annoy the heck out of you and there are going to be people you just completely dislike altogether. All I ask is that you think twice about what kind of energy and attitude you are expressing in these situations, and ask yourself if you are being intolerant.

When you encounter someone who you find difficult to accept as they are, replace your judgements and criticisms with love and acceptance. Pray for them. Let go of your idea of how people should be and accept them as they are. Acceptance of others brings you an inner-peace and tranquillity, instead of anger and resentment. Poor, sick, gay, straight, black, white, Jew, Muslim, the sinful, the broken, those on the wrong side of the tracks – love them all with the boundary-breaking love of Christ. If we all could only follow His example and love others like He did, there truly would be peace in our hearts, and in this world.

Love does not rejoice about injustice, but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. 1 Corinthians 13:6

Sleep in Heavenly Peace

One of my favourite Christmas songs is Silent Night. There’s something about it that evokes this sense of calm and peace whenever I hear it. We all know how hectic the holiday season can be, and in the midst of the hustle and bustle we could all use a little peace and calm. Peace is one of things that we all strive to maintain in our lives, but it certainly isn’t an easy task. So how does one attain a lasting, fulfilling sense of peace in their lives? What IS peace really? And why do we all want it so badly?

I can start by telling you what peace isn’t. Peace is not based on your life circumstances. It’s not based on your social ranking, your financial status, or your appearance. It’s not based on how many friends you have or how much you love your job. It’s not based on your health or how much you have saved in your pension plan. It’s not based on all the countries you’ve travelled to or how long you can meditate in the lotus position. No, it’s not based on anything the world can give you, really. Peace is an inner condition of your heart and soul – never based on externals.

Many of us have clever ideas to get us to that desired inner-state of peace. Some may think peace is a quick escape to a far-away land of numbness; a place where there is no pain, no shame, no guilt or drama. A place of quiet and calm where you are truly accepted and belong. How do we get there? Oh you know, by binge-drinking ourselves into oblivion on the weekends, by smoking up or even worse popping pills. You can’t feel anything, so that’s gotta be peace, right? Or maybe you hop from relationship to relationship, or worse bed to bed, temporarily feeling the blissful high of fleeting romance and pleasure. You feel fantastic, albeit for a very temporary time, but while it lasts it’s rather peaceful to have that empty void in your heart filled. That’s for sure gotta be it. Or maybe you don’t bother with any of that – you’re too busy. You lose yourself in your work. You stay busy and focus on achieving greatness. You got work to do, and nothing else matters. You don’t have time to feel lonely or empty. I hate to break it to you, but none of these harmful practices will provide you with a lasting and fulfilling, overflowing sense of peace.

Well maybe you don’t do any of the above, but you still don’t quite feel that sense of peace. There are a few things that many of us do daily that disturb the peace:

We worry – Worry is truly a thief of peace. You cannot be filled with worry and anxiety and be filled with peace at the same time. (For more on this, see my post "Nothing to Worry About.")
“Don’t worry about anything; instead; pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds.” Philippians 4:6-7


We’re discontent – Life is messy. Things happen and troubles WILL come. Don’t be discontent of where you are in your life. Live presently, and ride the wave. Enjoy the journey and LET GO. Trying to maintain a sense of control in your life will rob your peace in a heartbeat. Just live. The rest will work itself out. "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:3

We hold onto anger and resentment – If you have any unresolved anger in your heart, or you are holding onto resentment towards another, it’s going to be impossible for you to achieve peace. Do yourself a favour and let it go. Find healing for yourself. Forgive that person who did that thing, move on from that terrible situation you were in a few years ago, grieve the loss of that person that you never allowed yourself to. When you are holding onto any of these emotions you truly are doing yourself an injustice. You are robbing yourself of peace. (For more on this, see my post re: "Soul poison")

Yes friends. TRUE, lasting, overflowing peace is not given to us by this world. It’s only given to us by our Heavenly Father and our relationship with him. In Him you will find rest for your soul. You will find freedom from your past, and be truly Saved With his Amazing Grace, ( I call that Jesus SWAG for short, get it? haha). You will find so much peace that people will literally be attracted to the peace you exude. You will be a peacemaker wherever you go.

 Maybe this is a huge concept for you to really grasp onto right now in your life, and I’m not asking you to, but maybe next time you find yourself in need of some peace, give Him a holler. Let Him know what you need and ask Him what you can do. Think about it. Yeah? K Peace.  ;)

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
John 14:27

Nothing to Worry About

"Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow. It empties today of its strength"- Corrie Ten Boom

We all worry about things from time to time.  We worry about the “what if’s” in our future and then ruminate the “should’ve, would’ve, could'ves” in our head after things happen. We tend to fear the unknown, and find ourselves playing the worst case scenario in our heads. We become consumed with attempting to control future events. We worry about things that our beyond our control.

A seemingly small worry will lead you into stress, which will snowball you into fear and will eventually catapult you into anxiety, leaving you paralyzed physically and emotionally exhausted. Worrying will quickly sap the peace right out of you. Not only that, it may prevent from you from experiencing your best life, your highest potential, and your ultimate happiness. Take for example:

Worries In your relationships  - When you worry in matters of love, you are creating fear within your heart and your relationship. Love and fear cannot co-exist. Typically, when you find yourself in love, you start to worry that this great experience will be taken away from you; you worry he/she will find someone better, you worry you are not pretty enough/thin enough/smart enough, you worry that you will get hurt. So then what happens? With this worry in your heart, you then start to FEAR. You begin to fear the worst case scenario, so you close up your heart, you attempt to control your partner – you become jealous and possessive. You become needy. You are no longer enjoying a love-filled, easy, peaceful relationship, you have succumbed to a battle of control and fear and you call it love, and guess what happens? Your fear and worry will likely lead to the demise of the relationship. "There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love." 1 John 4:18

Worries in day to day life – One of my family members, God bless her heart, is consumed by fear of things that will never happen. "You can't go to Mexico – haven’t you heard about all those people that disappear?", or "You shouldn’t go that restaurant – don’t you know they don’t wash their vegetables very well?", or  "You shouldn’t drive on the highway; there are too many crazy drivers out there." Her fear unfortunately prevents her from experiencing all the joys and pleasures life has to offer. The fear of something terrible happening paralyses and restricts you to a mediocre life of routine. "For God gave us a spirit not of fear, but of power and love and self-control.” 2 Timothy 1

Worries about your life direction –  You may find yourself in worries such as these: "I don’t want to go apply to that job, I will never qualify.", or "I’m not going to talk to my boss about my concern, he probably wont care.", or "Im not going to start my own business, it will probably fail.", or "I hate my job but its comfortable, to try something new is too scary and difficult.", or  "I don’t want to take that big risk because what if it doesn’t work out." We worry so much that we miss out on all the opportunities and blessings that are offered to you. Every moment of every day, you are making choices that will either lead you closer to your highest level of purpose and happiness, or steer you away from it.  "The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one."  - Elbert Hubbard

The things we worry and fear about are the very things that may lead you into a  loving and joyous relationship, an exciting new adventure and experience, or a new promising direction in your life. God created this magnificent land for us to enjoy! He wants you to live a good, pleasing, abundant and joyous life and He gives you every opportunity to attain that. So the only question is… what’s holding you back? ;)

 

Life Seasons

I love the fall. It's the most beautiful season there is, in my opinion. I love seeing the leaves change colour, and the crunching sound they make when you rake them up in piles. I love fall fashion (I have a slight scarf obsession). I love pumpkin spice lattes from Starbucks and butternut squash soup. But, with all the beauty of fall comes another long cold winter. I live in Alberta, and winter means -30 degree weather (-50 with the wind chill), and months of icy roads and shovelling snow. But hey, that's just life - the seasons change! Just as the weather changes with the seasons, I think that life also has certain seasons which bring about different changes for you. Just as the weather has 4 seasons, I think life also has 4 seasons. It's important to remember what life season you are in, in order to keep things in perspective. Let me explain:

Winter- The winters are the difficult and painful times in life. Tough times will come, it's inevitable. Life guarantees no shortage of difficulties, tragedies, pain and sorrow. The winter is a time to grieve. Some may take years to get out of the cold winter. You may want to hibernate, or go into seclusion. Be alone. That's ok! It's of utmost importance to properly grieve your losses. Just remember, that through this most difficult season there is goodness ahead...

Spring- This is the time of life where the idea of "you reap what you sow" is very true. After a time of great difficulty, you will eventually see opportunities arise.  The flowers will begin to blossom, so to speak. In this time, plant your seeds of greatness to come. Study, learn, sign up for a class, socialize, venture out, volunteer. Plant. Sow. Work hard. Focus. Take the necessary steps to create your desired future and meet your goals.

Summer - Enjoy the fruits of your labour! In this time of life, things start to come together. You're living a life of abundance and you couldn't be happier. Life is good! The sun in shining! Your hard work has paid off. Enjoy this time and embrace it. Summer can't last forever, so enjoy every second of it.

Fall - This is a time of life to sit back and reflect. With much behind you, you now have the opportunity to evaluate what has worked for you and what hasn't. Take an inventory of your life. Set new goals and dreams. Be honest with yourself. Do some self-inquiry. This is a time of quiet contentment, but overall you are at peace in your life.

Do keep in mind, life doesn't always turn around in the same timing and frequency as the weather seasons do. You may be in what feels like the longest coldest life season of winter. Or, maybe it's summer all year-long. The point is  - LIFE CHANGES. Nothing remains stagnant. So don't get stuck in one season - it can't rain forever, and it also can't be sunshiny everyday. Accept the changes as they come, and make the most of every day for a truly beautifully seasoned life.

I reflect back on my life in the span of less than 2 years, and I see that I successfully completed a full cycle of life seasons. I walked through the Fall, where I reflected on my past choices and behaviour. I took inventory of my life - where I am versus where I want to be. I accepted my lessons with humility and forgave myself for the mistakes I made. I persevered through the Winter - I survived some rather dark, lonely, days. I grieved my losses, I healed my heart. In the Spring I planted a mighty crop - I grabbed onto every opportunity with both hands. I put all my learned lessons together and took action. I made a few BIG moves, and opened my heart. I opened all doors. The next life season has just recently arrived - into my life walked a very special gentleman... and so now after all the seasons I went through, including the coldest winter nights -  all I see is clear blue skies and sunshine, for miles and miles to come.  :-)

Ecclesiastes 3

A Time for Everything

 ¹ There is a time for everything,
   and a season for every activity under the heavens:

 ² a time to be born and a time to die,
   a time to plant and a time to uproot,
 ³ a time to kill and a time to heal,
   a time to tear down and a time to build,
 ⁴ a time to weep and a time to laugh,
   a time to mourn and a time to dance,
 ⁵ a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
   a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
 ⁶ a time to search and a time to give up,
   a time to keep and a time to throw away,
 ⁷ a time to tear and a time to mend,
   a time to be silent and a time to speak,
 ⁸ a time to love and a time to hate,
   a time for war and a time for peace.

Dear Diary...

A little more than a year ago I started writing in a journal. I guess one might call it a diary, but I prefer to call it a journal. A diary to me is something that you kept when you were 7 years old and hid under your mattress from your big sister (I know you read it Jennifer, rude!). In your diary you would write your secrets and all sorts of complaints about your parents and siblings, and your wishes upon the stars (oh please oh please make me grow taller!). My "grown-up"  journal, however, is quite different. It’s sort of a track record of where I’ve been and where I’m going. I’ll write down any major events or breakthroughs I’ve experienced, lessons I've learned, and many of my goals and dreams. 

Every once in a while I will go back and read some old entries, mostly for fun, but sometimes to see just how far I’ve come. Recently, I went back and read my entire journal, cover to cover, and let me tell you – it was rather enlightening! There seemed to have been quite a few lessons that I’ve learned in this past year. Many of my perspectives and opinions have changed entirely. It was very encouraging to see the growth process on paper. Although this past year for me has been a tumultuous one, I don't reflect back on it with pain or regret. As awful as it was, I needed it...

 I think it’s important for people to turn their wounds into wisdom. I believe that God allows you to go through certain trials in order to give you wisdom, and I think it's important that we then go on to share that new found wisdom with others.  So, in that case...here goes nothing *deep breath in*:

- God rips people out of your life to protect you. Don’t run after them.

- People really do come into your life for a reason, season, or lifetime. Discern which one it is.

- Never ever take your girlfriends for granted. Nurture your friendships. One day they may send you balloons to your work when you are sad (Thanks KP & LK).

- Don’t create the ideal situation in your head and then be upset when it doesn’t turn out that way (disillusionment).

- Set boundaries. With everyone. 

-  Detach. Detach. Detach.

- A situation doesn’t need to be analysed for 3 hours with 3 different people. If it’s not working, it’s not working. 

- Be accountable for your own choices. Don’t wonder why it hurts so much and then continue to stand there.

- Jesus saves.

- Don’t sell your soul (and your mattress, your dresser, and your George Foreman Grill) before there is a ring on your finger. (Once again with the disillusionment).

- The world doesn’t stop so you can grieve. Keep going.

- You are perfectly loved. You are perfectly lovable.

- The facebook version of people’s lives is not always the same as the real version. 

- If it didn’t work the first time, it’s not likely to work the second time. Or third. Or fourth.

- Wanting life on your terms is a terrible burden to carry. Let go. Let God. 

- Forgive everyone. Everything.

- You’re may be by yourself, but you are definitely not alone..

- Be aware of divine testing. Don’t be tricked. 

- If you are constantly frustrated/sad/confused/hurt within a specific life situation this is God’s way of telling you “umm HELLO this is isn’t working for you. Make a change.”  

- You’re never too old to dance like a lunatic. Especially if you’re somewhere where nobody knows your name. Like Sylvan Lake for example.

- You can’t stop your friends from making the same mistakes you’ve made. Let them learn the lesson on their own. Even if it’s the hard way.

- Accept your lessons with humility and grace. Keep your chin up and keep moving. God never gives you more than you can carry.  

- The best is yet to come.

“Other people are going to find healing in your wounds. Your greatest life messages and your most effective ministry will come out of your deepest hurts."– Rick Warren

The Root of All Evil

The topic of money is a rather touchy one. It’s such a sensitive, personal issue for so many people. It’s been the cause of colossal amounts of war, divorce, and other personal and family problems. There are so many different matters associated with the earning of money, spending it, managing it, and losing it, that to talk about it all in one meagre blog post is impossible. In any event, as a girl that has grown up without any excess amount of money in life, I do have a few opinions that I’ve formed over the years. I’m going to try to attempt to scratch the surface at least, and explain why money holds no priority and power in my life.

Some people seem to have certain beliefs attached to the accumulation of money. Here are a handful of the most common disillusionments:

I want to be able to buy the things I want and need. I will feel more secure. – This goes back to the idea of attempting to fill the empty hole in your heart with nice things. It’s been said the typical period of feeling “satisfied” with a material possession (whether it be a new car, pair of jeans, new toy, etc.) is 6 weeks. During that 6 week period you typically feel elated and fulfilled with your new purchase, but in time, you will tire of it, and guess what? The empty hole is still there, and you’ll have to go out and buy something else to fill it; the cycle continues. True security and fulfillment cannot be maintained through anything material.  "Whoever loves money never has enough of it; whoever loves wealth is never satisfied with his income. This too is meaningless." - (Ecclesiastes 5:10)

I’ll be much less stressed out. I’ll be much more happy and relaxed. –  Famous actors/actresses, athletes and musicians make millions upon millions of dollars, yet time and time again, we hear of the drug overdoses, the scandals, the depression, the suicides. They can have everything that money can possibly buy you, but yet they are not happy. What’s the problem here?  The disillusionment that money will guarantee you a happy life. As the old-school rapper Notorious B.I.G. stated “mo money, mo problems”. The more money you have, the more responsibilities you will accrue.  I’ve even heard of lottery winners ending up worse off than they were before, or even bankrupt. Don’t trivialize all that you have been given now in search for a higher level of happiness in your future. No amount of money will provide you lasting happiness. "If you make money your god, it will plague you like the devil " - Henry Fielding

I want to work hard now so I can enjoy life later on. I want to a leave a legacy.  –  There was one particular gentleman I knew very well who was so convinced of this. He sacrificed everything in hopes of building a better future for himself. He sacrificed his heath (mentally and physically), his relationships, his reputation, his YOUTH. All things were casualties in his reckless pursuit, and it’s true in this case that “money often costs too much.”  (Ralph Waldo Emerson). The problem with this is, it’s never going to be enough. There will always be a higher level of “success” to achieve. When you spend years and years with this frame of mind and work ethic, it’s doubtful you will wake up one morning and say “ok that’s enough, I’m good now”. Meanwhile, your children are all grown, your marriage/relationships have suffered and you’ve lost countless hours and opportunities living your life NOW, as it’s happening. Because I hate to break it you – your life is is happening NOW. You cant put it on hold until you feel you’re more ready for it. The cozy, financially-stable dream life you have in your head is not happening right now, it may not ever happen. You see, years of strain on relationships don’t magically recover once you have six-figures in the bank. Nothing in this life is guaranteed, our time on this earth is so short and can be taken away from you at any instant. So what do you want to do with your time? What kind of legacy do you really want to leave when you’re gone? "Love leaves a legacy. How you treated other people, not your wealth or accomplishments, is the most enduring impact you can leave on earth.” - Rick warren.

My only prayer is for you to reconsider your opinion on what money really is, and what kind of place it holds in your heart and your life. Take the power away from that wretched piece of paper called “money”  and fix your eyes on the things that money cannot buy. My eyes are fixed on all those things, and for that reason alone I feel like the richest girl in the world. :)

"The real measure of your wealth is how much you'd be worth if you lost all your money." 

The Enemy

"You screw everything up". "You're inadequate, you can't do this." "You are terrible, nobody wants you."

Your stomach clenches, your knees are weak. You are scared and confused. What kind of awful person would treat you like that? You probably wouldn't want to be hanging out with them anymore. But what happens when this person is YOU telling yourself those things and making you feel that way?  Call it your ego, your inner-critic, or call it Joe, but I call it the enemy. The enemy has the potential to crush your spirit and devastate your dreams.

The enemy is the often harsh and attacking voice in your head - full of judgement, lack of acceptance, and void of positivity. When we encounter this enemy, what may have blossomed into something new and positive within our selves and our lives is instead stifled and crushed. You begin to feel awful about yourself and you grow in fear and anxiety. You become self-conscious and are too afraid to make any steps forward for fear of failing. The enemy causes serious damage.

This enemy is a real bully. It knows how to push your buttons. The biggest issue is that we eventually start to believe the lies it tells us. Our continuous cycle of thoughts become what we believe to be true about ourselves. Our self-esteem and self-image are developed in how we talk to ourselves. When the enemy tell you that you are ugly and undeserving of anything good, you'll eventually start to believe that to be true, despite any evidence to prove the contrary.

I've believe that the most positive change and personal development occur when you stop believing the lies and start accepting the truth. The truth is what IS and always will be true about yourself. You need to replace the lies with the truth, and then you will see that "the truth will set you free." (John 8:32)

 The enemy can be particularly vicious to me, especially now that I've gone through a major spiritual renewal and a series of positive changes. The enemy tries to make a come-back and revert me back to the old lies I believed about myself for a long time, and often attempts to get me onto a wrong path (rude!). I've come up with a few strategies to deal with the enemy when you walk into it's traps or when it has you in it's grip:

- Don't ignore it. Acknowledge it's there without judgement. Catch it in the act, and refuse to harbor it's unhealthy thoughts. (Oh you again. Fancy meeting you here. I'm busy. Leave me alone. I don't have time for your lies).
- Act in spite of it. Discern what it's trying to stop you from doing, and do it anyways.
(You don't think I should do this because I will fail? Well that's too bad you feel that way, I'm doing it anyways. I'll show you).
- Replace lies with truth. The enemy knows your weaknesses so you'll start to catch onto the same lies he feeds you. Develop a replacement for each criticism; a positive affirmation. Have these truths on hand any time you hear the lies. (Replace "It's never going to happen for you, you might as well give up now." with "I have courage that the universe is on my side, and I am using this time to develop my patience and trust in God and all that He has for me.")


Some of you may now think I'm a crazy person that talks to the voices in my head (wait... that's the enemy putting me down again), but I'm sure some of you can relate to what I'm saying. There is nothing more liberating than replacing lies with truth, and living your life according to this truth. When you live like this, you will blossom into the person you were meant to be, and experience an overflow of joy and fulfillment, knowing you are living to your full potential. I challenge you to address your own ego/critic/enemy next time you encounter it. Don't let anyone convince you that you are less than a fully functioning wonderful and perfect individual created with a purpose. Get out of the lies in your mind and get into the life that is waiting for you. Lies out. Truth in. Believe it. :) 

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.(Phillipians 4:8)