The New Chapter

"Other people are going to find healing in your wounds. Your greatest life messages and your most effective ministry will come out of your deepest hurts.” - Rick Warren

First of all, I want to say HELLO to all my dedicated readers and supporters. It’s been a while since my last post, and I thought I would reconnect with you first by catching you up on where I am and where I am going with this blog.

The last 6 months I’ve been blessed with a completely new stage of life. It is as though all the hard personal work and healing and praying I did for the past year and a half all came to fruition at once. My prayers have been answered in such a way that I cannot even begin to articulate. I feel blessed beyond measure. The only way I can describe this period of my life is “a miracle”. Problems that I thought to be impossible to fix vanished overnight. Questions that I had about how things would ever turn around suddenly made perfect sense. Dreams I would ponder on and add to my proverbial “bucket list” were being ticked off at record speed. Not only did the Lord connect me with my life partner and future husband, He completely transformed every facet of my life in the process. Needless to say, I’ve been on quite the whirlwind of an adventure and haven’t had a lot of time to post on my blog!

With all this being said, I am happy to be in a position again to have some time to share with you. If you haven’t read any posts of mine before, here is an idea of what it’s about:

I’m not a professional writer, I didn’t go to school for this. I don’t know anything about web design or how to make it successful. I don’t have any desire to make money online or sell anything for personal gain. All I know is that God placed it on my heart to serve others through sharing my stories.

I’m an open book. I am transparent and I am not afraid to express anything I’m feeling. Above all, my compassion for others is something I cannot justly articulate. My heart longs for others to live a life of uncommon joy, peace and love.

I don’t claim to know it all, and my life is not perfect. I do know, however, some of the Truths of life that are unchanging. I do know the word of the Lord endures and that my life has completely changed by welcoming Him into my heart and into my life. I do know that some things in life happen so perfectly that they could only be explained as a “divine intervention”. I do know that although we each have the freedom to make our own choices in life, the plans God has for you FAR FAR exceed your wildest dreams and goals. I continue to be shocked and amazed almost every day at how He worked literally every angle of my life together for my good, and far beyond anything I ever thought was achievable in my circumstances.

As my life changes started to arrive, so did the opportunities to put into practice some of the lessons I’ve learned. I will continue to make mistakes and poor choices. I will continue to fail and fall short of all that I know I am called to be. I will never be perfect and neither will my fiancé. This new chapter in my life has blessed me so greatly, and I am also very grateful for the challenges that have and will come up – as I know I am continually being shaped and prepared for even greater things.

It is my goal to have my blog encourage you along your own journey - to help you escape from self-defeating cycles, and to take the high road. To comfort you in knowing you are not alone. To share with you the love that overflows out of my own heart. To inspire you to live a life of inexpressible joy, as I am. I hope you enjoy reading it. J

  

This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun! 2 Corinthians 5:17

The Green-Eyed Monster

“Jealousy, that dragon which slays love under the pretence of keeping it alive.”       – Havelock Elis

We are all familiar with the story: Boy meets girl, they start dating, fall in love. They enjoy the warm fuzzy feelings of newfound love - the butterflies in the tummy, the excitement of new experiences, the anticipation of things to come. This is the fleeting period of time where caution is thrown to the wind and you’re head over heels in love. You feel on top of the world and enjoy the validation of your new identity as a “significant other” to someone else! Fast forward about 6 months, however, and the dynamic has changed. The butterflies in your tummy have been replaced with tight knots. The carefree feelings in your mind have been replaced with paranoia and anxiety. Jealousy has taken its toll and has poisoned your relationship. Your love starts to feed on the required sense of need and possession, as opposed to the freedom and trust it once had. Now your sense of security is at risk. The poison has clouded your judgement. You start to compare, you feel threatened, you imagine the worst-case scenario. The poison of jealousy is getting stronger, and you are teetering on the edge of being altogether toxic. There is a reason why my post, Passion/Poison has been the most-read and shared post of all time – toxic love relationships are dangerously easy to find yourself in; and jealousy is the biggest trap of all.

At its core, I believe jealousy is plainly and simply a personal insecurity. We perceive the appearance, personality, or strengths of others as threats to our own well-being. To have this distorted perception in life is to be lacking in self-worth and value. Maybe you were hurt badly in past relationships, or perhaps you are healing from growing up with an absent parent, or maybe you were wounded by addictions or abuse – the unfortunate truth of the matter is that we all have been hurt and wounded in some way, and we have the emotional scars to prove it.

The problem with letting these past hurts effect our current lives and relationships is that we choose to continue to be a victim. We continue to believe the lie that was told to us in the past that made us start to question our value and worth. You carry the lie with you into relationship after relationship, and therefore the cycle continues. You believe you are unworthy of being treated properly because you were not shown this in the past, so you believe that your partner will find someone better than you to love. This is a lie. This is a poison that will slowly but surely kill your love and your relationship. When you feel that familiar emotion of jealousy creep into your tummy – recognize right away and own the FACT that it is never about the other person, it is always about something deep inside of you that still needs to be healed. Hold yourself accountable for your reactions and turn your attention inward. Replace the lie with truth. “Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” Romans 12:21

Along with insecurity, jealousy is often nothing more than the fear of abandonment. Be being jealous, we attempt to control our partner and as such prevent any possibility of getting hurt by them. In order for love to flourish, we need to allow our partner the freedom to be exactly who they are, and this includes allowing them to do anything they choose to do.  Sometimes we think we need to make our partner be a certain way in order for us to remain secure in our relationship. We try to maintain control of them with the clever use of flirting, manipulation, deceit, lies and games.  Sure, this may work temporarily, but it’s only going to get you so far before your partner starts to resent you due to their lack of freedom. Do NOT allow anyone to manipulate you in the name of love. It’s a matter of acceptance of what “is” and trusting the natural order of the universe and the will of God and His plans for you and your partner. “The one who loves you, loves you just the way you are. Because if someone wants to change you, it means you are not what that person wants. You cannot change other people. You love them or you don’t. You accept them the way they are, or you don’t. To try to change them to fit what you want them to be is like trying to change a dog for a cat, or a cat for a horse.” Don Miguel Ruiz, The Mastery of Love.

To cure jealousy is to see it for what it is – a dissatisfaction with self. Do not let this green-eyed monster poison your love and your relationship. Use every instance of jealousy in your relationship as an opportunity to turn your attention inward and heal, and to replace lies with truth. Only then will you truly be able to experience love in the way God intended it be enjoyed – love as a truly freeing and beautiful experience to be shared with not only your partner, but to everyone you encounter in the world.

"Jealousy is simply and clearly the fear that you do not have value.  Jealousy scans for evidence to prove the point - that others will be preferred and rewarded more than you.  There is only one alternative - self-value.  If you cannot love yourself, you will not believe that you are loved.  You will always think it's a mistake or luck.  Take your eyes off others and turn the scanner within.  Find the seeds of your jealousy, clear the old voices and experiences.  Put all the energy into building your personal and emotional security.  Then you will be the one others envy, and you can remember the pain and reach out to them."        ~Jennifer James

Nothing to Worry About

"Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow. It empties today of its strength"- Corrie Ten Boom

We all worry about things from time to time.  We worry about the “what if’s” in our future and then ruminate the “should’ve, would’ve, could'ves” in our head after things happen. We tend to fear the unknown, and find ourselves playing the worst case scenario in our heads. We become consumed with attempting to control future events. We worry about things that our beyond our control.

A seemingly small worry will lead you into stress, which will snowball you into fear and will eventually catapult you into anxiety, leaving you paralyzed physically and emotionally exhausted. Worrying will quickly sap the peace right out of you. Not only that, it may prevent from you from experiencing your best life, your highest potential, and your ultimate happiness. Take for example:

Worries In your relationships  - When you worry in matters of love, you are creating fear within your heart and your relationship. Love and fear cannot co-exist. Typically, when you find yourself in love, you start to worry that this great experience will be taken away from you; you worry he/she will find someone better, you worry you are not pretty enough/thin enough/smart enough, you worry that you will get hurt. So then what happens? With this worry in your heart, you then start to FEAR. You begin to fear the worst case scenario, so you close up your heart, you attempt to control your partner – you become jealous and possessive. You become needy. You are no longer enjoying a love-filled, easy, peaceful relationship, you have succumbed to a battle of control and fear and you call it love, and guess what happens? Your fear and worry will likely lead to the demise of the relationship. "There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love." 1 John 4:18

Worries in day to day life – One of my family members, God bless her heart, is consumed by fear of things that will never happen. "You can't go to Mexico – haven’t you heard about all those people that disappear?", or "You shouldn’t go that restaurant – don’t you know they don’t wash their vegetables very well?", or  "You shouldn’t drive on the highway; there are too many crazy drivers out there." Her fear unfortunately prevents her from experiencing all the joys and pleasures life has to offer. The fear of something terrible happening paralyses and restricts you to a mediocre life of routine. "For God gave us a spirit not of fear, but of power and love and self-control.” 2 Timothy 1

Worries about your life direction –  You may find yourself in worries such as these: "I don’t want to go apply to that job, I will never qualify.", or "I’m not going to talk to my boss about my concern, he probably wont care.", or "Im not going to start my own business, it will probably fail.", or "I hate my job but its comfortable, to try something new is too scary and difficult.", or  "I don’t want to take that big risk because what if it doesn’t work out." We worry so much that we miss out on all the opportunities and blessings that are offered to you. Every moment of every day, you are making choices that will either lead you closer to your highest level of purpose and happiness, or steer you away from it.  "The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one."  - Elbert Hubbard

The things we worry and fear about are the very things that may lead you into a  loving and joyous relationship, an exciting new adventure and experience, or a new promising direction in your life. God created this magnificent land for us to enjoy! He wants you to live a good, pleasing, abundant and joyous life and He gives you every opportunity to attain that. So the only question is… what’s holding you back? ;)

 

Life Seasons

I love the fall. It's the most beautiful season there is, in my opinion. I love seeing the leaves change colour, and the crunching sound they make when you rake them up in piles. I love fall fashion (I have a slight scarf obsession). I love pumpkin spice lattes from Starbucks and butternut squash soup. But, with all the beauty of fall comes another long cold winter. I live in Alberta, and winter means -30 degree weather (-50 with the wind chill), and months of icy roads and shovelling snow. But hey, that's just life - the seasons change! Just as the weather changes with the seasons, I think that life also has certain seasons which bring about different changes for you. Just as the weather has 4 seasons, I think life also has 4 seasons. It's important to remember what life season you are in, in order to keep things in perspective. Let me explain:

Winter- The winters are the difficult and painful times in life. Tough times will come, it's inevitable. Life guarantees no shortage of difficulties, tragedies, pain and sorrow. The winter is a time to grieve. Some may take years to get out of the cold winter. You may want to hibernate, or go into seclusion. Be alone. That's ok! It's of utmost importance to properly grieve your losses. Just remember, that through this most difficult season there is goodness ahead...

Spring- This is the time of life where the idea of "you reap what you sow" is very true. After a time of great difficulty, you will eventually see opportunities arise.  The flowers will begin to blossom, so to speak. In this time, plant your seeds of greatness to come. Study, learn, sign up for a class, socialize, venture out, volunteer. Plant. Sow. Work hard. Focus. Take the necessary steps to create your desired future and meet your goals.

Summer - Enjoy the fruits of your labour! In this time of life, things start to come together. You're living a life of abundance and you couldn't be happier. Life is good! The sun in shining! Your hard work has paid off. Enjoy this time and embrace it. Summer can't last forever, so enjoy every second of it.

Fall - This is a time of life to sit back and reflect. With much behind you, you now have the opportunity to evaluate what has worked for you and what hasn't. Take an inventory of your life. Set new goals and dreams. Be honest with yourself. Do some self-inquiry. This is a time of quiet contentment, but overall you are at peace in your life.

Do keep in mind, life doesn't always turn around in the same timing and frequency as the weather seasons do. You may be in what feels like the longest coldest life season of winter. Or, maybe it's summer all year-long. The point is  - LIFE CHANGES. Nothing remains stagnant. So don't get stuck in one season - it can't rain forever, and it also can't be sunshiny everyday. Accept the changes as they come, and make the most of every day for a truly beautifully seasoned life.

I reflect back on my life in the span of less than 2 years, and I see that I successfully completed a full cycle of life seasons. I walked through the Fall, where I reflected on my past choices and behaviour. I took inventory of my life - where I am versus where I want to be. I accepted my lessons with humility and forgave myself for the mistakes I made. I persevered through the Winter - I survived some rather dark, lonely, days. I grieved my losses, I healed my heart. In the Spring I planted a mighty crop - I grabbed onto every opportunity with both hands. I put all my learned lessons together and took action. I made a few BIG moves, and opened my heart. I opened all doors. The next life season has just recently arrived - into my life walked a very special gentleman... and so now after all the seasons I went through, including the coldest winter nights -  all I see is clear blue skies and sunshine, for miles and miles to come.  :-)

Ecclesiastes 3

A Time for Everything

 ¹ There is a time for everything,
   and a season for every activity under the heavens:

 ² a time to be born and a time to die,
   a time to plant and a time to uproot,
 ³ a time to kill and a time to heal,
   a time to tear down and a time to build,
 ⁴ a time to weep and a time to laugh,
   a time to mourn and a time to dance,
 ⁵ a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
   a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
 ⁶ a time to search and a time to give up,
   a time to keep and a time to throw away,
 ⁷ a time to tear and a time to mend,
   a time to be silent and a time to speak,
 ⁸ a time to love and a time to hate,
   a time for war and a time for peace.

The Doorway

So here you are. You went through all the stages of grief, you did your self-reflection and analysis, you regained your emotional independence, and you are now strong and confident. You have positive people in your life and you are happy again. For some reason, however, something is still off. You don't quite know what it is. You feel like your heart is open, but something is just not quite right. You don't feel as loving and lovable as you should be  My friend, I've got news for you: your doorway is blocked.

A blocked doorway is a concept my friend and I devised to better comprehend a common scenario we ran into from time to time. Basically, it means that there is a something in the way; something or someone is disallowing your heart to truly be open. Oftentimes you don't even know your doorway is blocked, so you continue to make certain choices and repeat certain behaviours not realizing they are keeping you from fully opening your heart.

Once you understand what/who is blocking your doorway, you have the power to drastically change your circumstances. I know of some pretty incredible stories of women who removed the stubborn doorway-blockers from their lives and then went on rather quickly to find love again, or true happiness and fulfillment.

Here are the 2 most common doorway blockers:

Doorway Blocker #1 - The ex-factor: You still have an attachment to your ex-partner. He/she is standing in your doorway and blocking anyone else from coming in. As much you want to move on and develop feelings for other people in your life now, it's impossible.

You may be physically attached still - using their bodies to comfort you "in the meantime" until you find someone new. You crave the familiarity so you succumb to the arrangement of "friends with benefits". Not only is this incredibly immature and immoral, it's actually delaying the whole process of moving on in the first place. The longer you stay attached to someone who is wrong for you the longer it's going to take for you to create space in your life and heart for love again, with someone who may be right for you.

You also may be emotionally attached to them still. If you are not physically with them anymore - you still secretly long for reconciliation. You play the "what ifs" over and over in your head. You are convinced that once you do A, B, and C it will magically work out and you will be happy and together again. You play over a dream scenario in your head and convince yourself that in time he/she will come to their senses one day and want you back. It's time to  free yourself emotionally from this person and create that open space in your heart.

Doorway Blocker #2 - The fear-factor: Your fear can show up wearing many different masks. It shows up as anxiety, over-analyzing, skepticism, and worrying. Also, sometimes we are so TERRIFIED that we set unrealistic expectations for your potential mates to meet. You'll think of a millions reasons why it would never work out, not realizing it is your own fear that is disallowing you to take a risk and approach this person with an open your heart. I should mention, this is completely separate from having non-negotiable standards (as in, they must share the same faith as you, they must not smoke or do drugs, and other non-negotiables as the case may be). But if you find yourself using excuses like "well he's not my type" "She doesn't like the same sports I do", or "he wears funny shoes", or "he doesn't have a six-pack, this will never work". That is likely your fear talking. Apart from your non-negotiables, it's truly beneficial to meet people out of your familiar comfort-zone. Your "type" may not have been working for you. Time to open your mind a bit. Kick the fear out of the doorway; it's blocking any good from getting in.

Unblocking your doorway isn't easy, it takes a lot of courage, especially if it means you need to make a drastic change in your life. But you can do this! Don't let anyone or anything stand in the way of reaching your goals and dreams. Be courageous. Be strong. And do everything with love. (1 Corinthians 16:13). Do a quick evaluation of your choices and behavior and ask yourself if you have any stubborn doorway blockers you need to get rid of and keep that door wide open, because really - if you create any open space in your life, love will eventually fill it.

    "Think about any attachments that are depleting

your emotional reserves. Consider letting them go."

Open Hearts and Open Doors

I've always worn my heart on my sleeve. My emotions are never hidden. I'm rather transparent, really. I've allowed myself to be in a rather vulnerable position many times, and with that being said, what do ya know -I've had my heart shattered, many times. It's hard to bring yourself to such a place of vulnerability, but I believe it takes incredible strength and maturity to make yourself vulnerable. A vulnerable person is a fearless person. One of the most important gifts you can offer to yourself and everyone around you is an open heart. When your heart is open, love flows freely to us, and through us to others, while "a closed heart is the worst prison."

When you get your heart broken (which I'm sure you are all familiar with in one way or another), it's common to build yourself a protective coating around your heart. You fence it off with many walls and you wear your armour and shield to ward off any potential threats. You don't allow yourself to be vulnerable again, because that would mean it's possible for you to experience that painful heartbreak yet again. So you close your heart to protect yourself from any further rejection. With a closed heart, it's nearly impossible to allow love and happiness to penetrate through. You may become bitter, resentful, mistrusting, afraid. You start to second guess that you are even deserving of love (low self-worth) or that anyone can be trusted. You refuse to run the risk of revealing your heart to anyone and so you keep you guard up; not knowing all the while you are missing out on the opportunities to heal and experience real love. Opening your heart isn't easy; it means exposing to someone your scars from the past. But it is only through an open heart that you can find love again. With an open heart, you have room for growth, forgiveness, and change.

So how do you open your heart? Well, there are a number of ways to go about doing that. Here's a little checklist I made up to see if you are on the "open road":

- Have you properly grieved any loss/heartbreak you may have experienced? Before anything can happen properly, you need to do this. I'll be honest  here- it's pretty brutal. I will dedicate an entire post to getting through grief one day, I promise. But trust me - it is well worth the time and emotional investment to do this step thoroughly.

- Have you taken a lesson from your past relationships/heartbreaks? It may be time to do a bit of self-reflection and analysis here. How have you contributed to the demise of the relationship? What could you do differently in the future? Were there red flags in the relationship that you may have ignored? What changes, if any, do you need to make in order to prevent this from happening again?

- FORGIVE FORGIVE FORGIVE. Forgive yourself for any mistakes. Forgive the other person(s) involved in the heartbreak. Forgive God for allowing it to happen (it was for your benefit after all). Forgive everyone, everything. If you do not forgive you will build up resentment in your heart, which is poison to your soul (see my "Soul Poison" post for more info). It's deadly stuff.

- Love yourself. Take the time to regain your emotional independence. Build up your self-worth and self-respect. Surround yourself with positive people that love you unconditionally.

 - MOVE ON. If you've properly completed the above steps, your heart should be in great shape. It's time to extend love to everyone. To get love, you must give love.Throw out positive energy to the universe.This is the time where the universal law  "you reap what you sow" comes into play. Keep your mind open, and your heart open, and stay positive. Love God, love yourself, love everyone that comes into your life. "Wherever you go, go with all your heart".

I've gone through this entire process, so I'm living proof that it works. Although I haven't yet found love again, I'm confident that I will. My heart overflows with love and peace and joy and fulfillment. So be unafraid to love or fail. Say the things you need to say to people, and don't hold back. Tell people you love them. Be vulnerable. Open your mind. Open your heart. Love.

"Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things"

 1 Corinthians 13:7

PS. Please watch this entire video and listen to the words. This WILL be played at my wedding ;)

Passion/Poison

Ok I'm going to just say it - I've been in a toxic relationship before; and I know I'm not alone here when I confess that. It's not something I pride myself on, but thakfully I've gained a lot of wisdom and learning experience from it. Toxic relationships are flat out painful, and real love is not supposed to be painful. Toxic relationships lead to a dead end, a broken heart, a bruised ego, and many other unattractive bits and pieces of yourself torn apart and scattered which you must piece back together with time. It's UGLY, and my heart goes out to you if you have ever been in one yourself, or know anyone who has.


Toxic relationships happen when one or both partners are not complete on thier own. They enter relaitionships from a place of need - they need the other person to make them feel special and loved because they are lacking that in themselves (and in many cases were deprived of that from one or both of thier parents). They look to their partner to meet all thier needs, and they'll set unrealistc expectations of them to meet. They are broken inside, and they need healing. This person may not even be aware of the healing that needs to be done, and so they continue to enter into the same types of relationships with the same types of people that will continue the cycle of hurt, because they feel they somehow still deserve it. They haven't dealt with the problem once and for all, so it keeps rising to the surface again and again...


So how do you know if you are currently in a toxic relationship or not? Here is a short list of the characteristics of Love vs. Toxic Love (Credit to Melody Beattie & Terence Gorski):

1.   Love - Development of self is first priority.
     Toxic love - Obsession with the relationship.

2.   Love - Room to grow, expand; desire for other to grow.
     Toxic love - Security, comfort in sameness; intensity of need seen as proof of love.

3.   Love - Separate interests; other friends; maintain other meaningful relationships.
     Toxic love - Total involvement; limited social life; neglect old friends, interests.

4.   Love - Encouragement of each other's expanding; secure in own worth.
     Toxic love - Preoccupation with other's behavior; fear of other changing.

5.   Love - Appropriate Trust 
     Toxic love - Jealousy; possessiveness; fear of competition.

6.   Love - Compromise, negotiation or taking turns at leading. Problem solving together.
     Toxic love - Power plays for control; blaming; passive or aggressive manipulation.

7.  Love - Embracing of each other's individuality.
    Toxic love - Trying to change other to own image.

9.   Love - Self-care by both partners; emotional state not dependent on other's mood.
     Toxic love - Expectation that one partner will fix and rescue the other.

10.  Love - Loving detachment (healthy concern about partner, while letting go.)
      Toxic love - Fusion (being obsessed with each other's problems and feelings.)

 12. Love - Ability to enjoy being alone.
      Toxic love - Unable to endure separation; clinging.

If you refer to my post "I Didn't Learn That in School" you'll remember how I said that the universe will present to you what you need to learn. Sadly, if you are in need of healing and have some growing to do, with unfailing kindness, a person will come into your life in which you will get  the opportunity to do that. With each goodbye you will (well, you should!) LEARN. You learn, you heal, you re-evaluate your choices, and you gain better discernment for next time. That's just life and part of growing up. You're definately not alone *cough*...  

When you come to the time in your life where you are complete and whole on your own, lacking nothing - that is the best time to enter into a relationship if so desired, and again, the universe can and will present you a special someone when the time is right. I'm still waiting patiently by the way... ;-)  

"Consider it all joy...and let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing." - James 1:2-4

Try this on for size

I used to be plagued with an addiction... a shopping addiction. I remember feeling like I absolutely required a brand new outfit, complete with shoes, handbag, and jewelery, every single time I went out with my friends. Every weekend was an exciting opportunity to wear a new outfit and look fabulous (although if I look back at pics now... fabulous was NOT the word for it, haha). This went on for longer then I'm willing to admit, and well, there comes a point where you need to grow up (or your credit cards get maxed, whatever comes first).

As a fully recovered shopaholic, let me tell you this: That path leads to a dead end. It's a problem that needs to be addressed, and it's actually a greater problem then I can dive into in one post alone, but I will touch on one key truth about it - and this is that there is no amount of money and energy that can be spent to cover up any ugliness on your inside.

When I think back to my reasoning behind my shopping expeditions, I can carry it back to the root cause of wanting to feel beautiful and worthy, acceptable and desirable to others. I thought that if I looked good, I would feel good, and only then would I be able to walk confidently and have a fun night. This is not the purpose that clothing was created for! I used fashion to cover up my flaws inside. My lack of self-confidence drove me to the mall every weekend, so I can buy a pretty new "band aid"; a temporary fix to solve my problem for the night. Knowing what I know now, I wish I could go back to Lindsay 10 years ago and tell that poor girl this:

- That you should be devoting your time and energy on developing your INSIDE not your outside

- That you should focus on building your character, because you character is the only thing you want to attract people with

- Any relationship that is based on outward beauty and physical attraction is sadly an incredibly superficial relationship, and likely will not pass the test of time

- Don't buy into this lie! People will spend millions of dollars each year buying into the lie that beauty can be bought

- That sometimes the prettiest girls with the nicest outfits are the ones that are the most jealous and insecure

- That attracting people with your outward beauty should not be as important to you as attracting people with the virtue and character displayed in your life

If you find yourself like I did, with "nothing to wear" and a closet full of clothes, try reflecting on what you're really missing, and what can't be bought at the mall: Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. These are the beautiful virtues that will carry you through, and create an irresistible inner beauty that will last a lifetime; long after the wrinkles set in and you can't fit into your skinny jeans anymore. ;)