Don't Miss Out

 ^"This is the day that the Lord has made;
    let us rejoice and be glad in it."

Psalm 118:24

It’s Friday evening. You are curled up on the couch with your favorite cup of tea. You are ready to enjoy some rest and relaxation after a long week of work. You are about to scroll through your list of recordings on your PVR, but first decide to scroll through your Facebook newsfeed. That’s when it hits you…BAM!  You quickly discover some of your friends are enjoying a glass of wine at a trendy lounge (hmm. Where was my invite? You wonder…) Then KA-BAM!  Your neighbour posts her photo album from her luxurious vacation in Fiji (*sigh* I wish I could travel more, you ponder...) Then before you pick yourself up from that deflation BOOM! Your co-worker announces her surprise engagement.  That’s it! You’re officially defeated. Your lovely evening of peace and solitude no longer seems as appealing as all of the other fun and exciting things going on with the rest of the people know. Your heart races, your eyes well up in tears, and your stomach twists. What’s wrong with me? You exclaim. I can tell you – you are dealing with a case of FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out).

The New York Times defines FOMO or “fear of missing out,” as “the blend of anxiety, inadequacy and irritation that can flare up while skimming social media like Facebook, Twitter, Foursquare and Instagram.”  This immediate connection to hundreds of people’s lives often leads us to the discontent of our own lives, when they pale in comparison to others. Succumbing to these unhealthy FOMO feelings caused by a virtual world will often penetrate through to real life, and affect the quality of our relationships and how we view ourselves.

It’s important to adapt with the changes that different stages of life will bring you and the people in your life, and not to get caught up in comparing. It seems that we are constantly stimulated through social media and made aware of all the ways our life COULD be different than it is now, instead of simply being grateful for all that we are blessed with currently and enjoying our own personal journey.

The other side of this issue is that when we are suffering from these fears of missing out on something great, we often over-commit ourselves to the point of burn out. We eagerly accept every invite out, we plan event after event to keep our calendars full and exciting, we come home from one vacation and promptly plan the next one. Why can't we just SLOW DOWN? Why can't we be OK with where we are in our life with who is in it? Why can't we just LIVE each day fully and passionately, accepting whole-heartily the fact that we are exactly where we should be, doing exactly what we are doing? Often our expectations of how things should be cause a restlessness in the way things actually are. The more we resist the way things ARE, the more pain and frustration we feel. Less joy. Less peace. "If you could only keep quiet, clear of memories and expectations, you would be able to discern the beautiful pattern of events. It's your restlessness that causes chaos." – Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj

In this day and age, it’s more important than ever to make peace with the peace. Make it a priority to disconnect yourself from the digital world and from engaging yourself into the social lives of others. Live each day joyfully and gratefully. Appreciate the simple pleasures, notice the small things. When you live this way, even the most ordinary routine days are something to celebrate. In my post “Keeping Up”  I spoke about the dangers of comparison. Don’t miss out on your OWN life. Slow down. Trust that God is working in your life right now in the exact moment. Trust His timing, and trust His process. In the meantime, make peace with the peace.

“To live your best life now, you must learn to trust God’s timing, you may not think He’s working, but you can be sure that right now, behind the scenes, God is arranging all the pieces to come together to work out His plan for your life.” - Joel Olsteen



Try this on for size

I used to be plagued with an addiction... a shopping addiction. I remember feeling like I absolutely required a brand new outfit, complete with shoes, handbag, and jewelery, every single time I went out with my friends. Every weekend was an exciting opportunity to wear a new outfit and look fabulous (although if I look back at pics now... fabulous was NOT the word for it, haha). This went on for longer then I'm willing to admit, and well, there comes a point where you need to grow up (or your credit cards get maxed, whatever comes first).

As a fully recovered shopaholic, let me tell you this: That path leads to a dead end. It's a problem that needs to be addressed, and it's actually a greater problem then I can dive into in one post alone, but I will touch on one key truth about it - and this is that there is no amount of money and energy that can be spent to cover up any ugliness on your inside.

When I think back to my reasoning behind my shopping expeditions, I can carry it back to the root cause of wanting to feel beautiful and worthy, acceptable and desirable to others. I thought that if I looked good, I would feel good, and only then would I be able to walk confidently and have a fun night. This is not the purpose that clothing was created for! I used fashion to cover up my flaws inside. My lack of self-confidence drove me to the mall every weekend, so I can buy a pretty new "band aid"; a temporary fix to solve my problem for the night. Knowing what I know now, I wish I could go back to Lindsay 10 years ago and tell that poor girl this:

- That you should be devoting your time and energy on developing your INSIDE not your outside

- That you should focus on building your character, because you character is the only thing you want to attract people with

- Any relationship that is based on outward beauty and physical attraction is sadly an incredibly superficial relationship, and likely will not pass the test of time

- Don't buy into this lie! People will spend millions of dollars each year buying into the lie that beauty can be bought

- That sometimes the prettiest girls with the nicest outfits are the ones that are the most jealous and insecure

- That attracting people with your outward beauty should not be as important to you as attracting people with the virtue and character displayed in your life

If you find yourself like I did, with "nothing to wear" and a closet full of clothes, try reflecting on what you're really missing, and what can't be bought at the mall: Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. These are the beautiful virtues that will carry you through, and create an irresistible inner beauty that will last a lifetime; long after the wrinkles set in and you can't fit into your skinny jeans anymore. ;)