Try this on for size

I used to be plagued with an addiction... a shopping addiction. I remember feeling like I absolutely required a brand new outfit, complete with shoes, handbag, and jewelery, every single time I went out with my friends. Every weekend was an exciting opportunity to wear a new outfit and look fabulous (although if I look back at pics now... fabulous was NOT the word for it, haha). This went on for longer then I'm willing to admit, and well, there comes a point where you need to grow up (or your credit cards get maxed, whatever comes first).

As a fully recovered shopaholic, let me tell you this: That path leads to a dead end. It's a problem that needs to be addressed, and it's actually a greater problem then I can dive into in one post alone, but I will touch on one key truth about it - and this is that there is no amount of money and energy that can be spent to cover up any ugliness on your inside.

When I think back to my reasoning behind my shopping expeditions, I can carry it back to the root cause of wanting to feel beautiful and worthy, acceptable and desirable to others. I thought that if I looked good, I would feel good, and only then would I be able to walk confidently and have a fun night. This is not the purpose that clothing was created for! I used fashion to cover up my flaws inside. My lack of self-confidence drove me to the mall every weekend, so I can buy a pretty new "band aid"; a temporary fix to solve my problem for the night. Knowing what I know now, I wish I could go back to Lindsay 10 years ago and tell that poor girl this:

- That you should be devoting your time and energy on developing your INSIDE not your outside

- That you should focus on building your character, because you character is the only thing you want to attract people with

- Any relationship that is based on outward beauty and physical attraction is sadly an incredibly superficial relationship, and likely will not pass the test of time

- Don't buy into this lie! People will spend millions of dollars each year buying into the lie that beauty can be bought

- That sometimes the prettiest girls with the nicest outfits are the ones that are the most jealous and insecure

- That attracting people with your outward beauty should not be as important to you as attracting people with the virtue and character displayed in your life

If you find yourself like I did, with "nothing to wear" and a closet full of clothes, try reflecting on what you're really missing, and what can't be bought at the mall: Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. These are the beautiful virtues that will carry you through, and create an irresistible inner beauty that will last a lifetime; long after the wrinkles set in and you can't fit into your skinny jeans anymore. ;)

Get Real!

It seems like there are way too many people in society today that are far too sensitive. More and more people seem to be outraged by particular words, images, phrases, music, TV shows, and so on for their lack of political-correctness; (for example, the demand to teach school children that it’s a “Spring Sphere” and not an “Easter Egg”). It really hurts my heart that people can be so intolerant of others, and find it so difficult to co-exist with people of varying cultural backgrounds, religions, beliefs and values. It seems like nowadays you almost need to provide a full disclosure to your audience before you can even speak your mind and be honest, and I feel that there is something incredibly wrong with that…

It’s a decision of staying true to your authentic self, OR censoring your authentic self to be acceptable to everyone else. Now, being a young woman that proudly wears her heart on her sleeve and is not afraid to speak her mind, I've found that most people are appreciative of an alternative view and opinion on matters. I’ve found that it’s far better to be REAL and be YOU than to try to please everyone and not hurt anyone’s feelings. I’ve found that it's exhausting to censor yourself and then live with the many thoughts and feelings left unsaid that will continue to stir inside of you. I’ve found that you can say almost anything if it’s coming from a place of love and not intolerance and hatred. I've found that most people appreciate pure honesty over the sugar-coated truth. I've found that people cannot evolve and grow if they are only being told what they want to hear.

When you stop being YOU and start being what you think everyone else needs and wants to hear, you’re not being real. The core of this issue is lack of CONFIDENCE -  confidence in yourself and in what you believe, confidence and awareness of what your heart tells you, and being fearless enough to share it with the world without the sugar coating. You never know when what you said will linger in someone’s mind and change their life forever, or vice versa! Personally, I have learned some of my greatest life lessons from  listening and contemplating what others had to say.

Here are 10 things you should know:

1. Your hair matters far, far, less than you think

2. In fact, the way you look matters far less than you think

3. "Can I ask a dumb question" is never a good thing to say

4. In fact, asking for permission to speak is never a good idea at all

5. While we're on this subject, don't speak too fast because you're afraid of wasting your listener's time. Listening to what you have to say is the highest and best use of anyone's time. Even if your hair looks terrible.

6. And don't edit what you say before you say it. that would be getting in the way of truth, and worse, of your heart.

7. You are already working approx 25% harder than you have to to get the result you want. Chillax.

8.Don't hang out with anyone who doesn't understand why you're so wonderful, or who needs to be told, or who doesn't tell you at regular intervals or when you forget

9. The little voice you keep ignoring is the only one you should ever listen to.

10. Love

(Excerpt from "What I know now: Letters to my younger self" By Ellyn Spragins)

“He who trims himself to suit everyone will soon whittle himself away.”  ~Raymond Hull