The Doorway

So here you are. You went through all the stages of grief, you did your self-reflection and analysis, you regained your emotional independence, and you are now strong and confident. You have positive people in your life and you are happy again. For some reason, however, something is still off. You don't quite know what it is. You feel like your heart is open, but something is just not quite right. You don't feel as loving and lovable as you should be  My friend, I've got news for you: your doorway is blocked.

A blocked doorway is a concept my friend and I devised to better comprehend a common scenario we ran into from time to time. Basically, it means that there is a something in the way; something or someone is disallowing your heart to truly be open. Oftentimes you don't even know your doorway is blocked, so you continue to make certain choices and repeat certain behaviours not realizing they are keeping you from fully opening your heart.

Once you understand what/who is blocking your doorway, you have the power to drastically change your circumstances. I know of some pretty incredible stories of women who removed the stubborn doorway-blockers from their lives and then went on rather quickly to find love again, or true happiness and fulfillment.

Here are the 2 most common doorway blockers:

Doorway Blocker #1 - The ex-factor: You still have an attachment to your ex-partner. He/she is standing in your doorway and blocking anyone else from coming in. As much you want to move on and develop feelings for other people in your life now, it's impossible.

You may be physically attached still - using their bodies to comfort you "in the meantime" until you find someone new. You crave the familiarity so you succumb to the arrangement of "friends with benefits". Not only is this incredibly immature and immoral, it's actually delaying the whole process of moving on in the first place. The longer you stay attached to someone who is wrong for you the longer it's going to take for you to create space in your life and heart for love again, with someone who may be right for you.

You also may be emotionally attached to them still. If you are not physically with them anymore - you still secretly long for reconciliation. You play the "what ifs" over and over in your head. You are convinced that once you do A, B, and C it will magically work out and you will be happy and together again. You play over a dream scenario in your head and convince yourself that in time he/she will come to their senses one day and want you back. It's time to  free yourself emotionally from this person and create that open space in your heart.

Doorway Blocker #2 - The fear-factor: Your fear can show up wearing many different masks. It shows up as anxiety, over-analyzing, skepticism, and worrying. Also, sometimes we are so TERRIFIED that we set unrealistic expectations for your potential mates to meet. You'll think of a millions reasons why it would never work out, not realizing it is your own fear that is disallowing you to take a risk and approach this person with an open your heart. I should mention, this is completely separate from having non-negotiable standards (as in, they must share the same faith as you, they must not smoke or do drugs, and other non-negotiables as the case may be). But if you find yourself using excuses like "well he's not my type" "She doesn't like the same sports I do", or "he wears funny shoes", or "he doesn't have a six-pack, this will never work". That is likely your fear talking. Apart from your non-negotiables, it's truly beneficial to meet people out of your familiar comfort-zone. Your "type" may not have been working for you. Time to open your mind a bit. Kick the fear out of the doorway; it's blocking any good from getting in.

Unblocking your doorway isn't easy, it takes a lot of courage, especially if it means you need to make a drastic change in your life. But you can do this! Don't let anyone or anything stand in the way of reaching your goals and dreams. Be courageous. Be strong. And do everything with love. (1 Corinthians 16:13). Do a quick evaluation of your choices and behavior and ask yourself if you have any stubborn doorway blockers you need to get rid of and keep that door wide open, because really - if you create any open space in your life, love will eventually fill it.

    "Think about any attachments that are depleting

your emotional reserves. Consider letting them go."

Open Hearts and Open Doors

I've always worn my heart on my sleeve. My emotions are never hidden. I'm rather transparent, really. I've allowed myself to be in a rather vulnerable position many times, and with that being said, what do ya know -I've had my heart shattered, many times. It's hard to bring yourself to such a place of vulnerability, but I believe it takes incredible strength and maturity to make yourself vulnerable. A vulnerable person is a fearless person. One of the most important gifts you can offer to yourself and everyone around you is an open heart. When your heart is open, love flows freely to us, and through us to others, while "a closed heart is the worst prison."

When you get your heart broken (which I'm sure you are all familiar with in one way or another), it's common to build yourself a protective coating around your heart. You fence it off with many walls and you wear your armour and shield to ward off any potential threats. You don't allow yourself to be vulnerable again, because that would mean it's possible for you to experience that painful heartbreak yet again. So you close your heart to protect yourself from any further rejection. With a closed heart, it's nearly impossible to allow love and happiness to penetrate through. You may become bitter, resentful, mistrusting, afraid. You start to second guess that you are even deserving of love (low self-worth) or that anyone can be trusted. You refuse to run the risk of revealing your heart to anyone and so you keep you guard up; not knowing all the while you are missing out on the opportunities to heal and experience real love. Opening your heart isn't easy; it means exposing to someone your scars from the past. But it is only through an open heart that you can find love again. With an open heart, you have room for growth, forgiveness, and change.

So how do you open your heart? Well, there are a number of ways to go about doing that. Here's a little checklist I made up to see if you are on the "open road":

- Have you properly grieved any loss/heartbreak you may have experienced? Before anything can happen properly, you need to do this. I'll be honest  here- it's pretty brutal. I will dedicate an entire post to getting through grief one day, I promise. But trust me - it is well worth the time and emotional investment to do this step thoroughly.

- Have you taken a lesson from your past relationships/heartbreaks? It may be time to do a bit of self-reflection and analysis here. How have you contributed to the demise of the relationship? What could you do differently in the future? Were there red flags in the relationship that you may have ignored? What changes, if any, do you need to make in order to prevent this from happening again?

- FORGIVE FORGIVE FORGIVE. Forgive yourself for any mistakes. Forgive the other person(s) involved in the heartbreak. Forgive God for allowing it to happen (it was for your benefit after all). Forgive everyone, everything. If you do not forgive you will build up resentment in your heart, which is poison to your soul (see my "Soul Poison" post for more info). It's deadly stuff.

- Love yourself. Take the time to regain your emotional independence. Build up your self-worth and self-respect. Surround yourself with positive people that love you unconditionally.

 - MOVE ON. If you've properly completed the above steps, your heart should be in great shape. It's time to extend love to everyone. To get love, you must give love.Throw out positive energy to the universe.This is the time where the universal law  "you reap what you sow" comes into play. Keep your mind open, and your heart open, and stay positive. Love God, love yourself, love everyone that comes into your life. "Wherever you go, go with all your heart".

I've gone through this entire process, so I'm living proof that it works. Although I haven't yet found love again, I'm confident that I will. My heart overflows with love and peace and joy and fulfillment. So be unafraid to love or fail. Say the things you need to say to people, and don't hold back. Tell people you love them. Be vulnerable. Open your mind. Open your heart. Love.

"Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things"

 1 Corinthians 13:7

PS. Please watch this entire video and listen to the words. This WILL be played at my wedding ;)

Think BIG

Lately I've been volunteering at a local homeless shelter. I help to prepare and serve a meal to those less fortunate in our inner-city. These people have nothing. They live on the streets and don’t know where their next meal is coming from.  Having known this, when they look at me with so much hope behind their eyes I can't help but be put to shame when I remember whining about not having a balcony in my apartment. This experience gave me a lesson in perspective.

We're viewing the vastness of this world through such a limited view - our own eyes. We tend to lose PERSPECTIVE of the big picture quite easily throughout the drudgery of day-to-day life. The human perspective can be so limited and incomplete. We have a temporal perspective, not an eternal one. We don't live in light of ETERNITY; we don’t look at the big picture as much as we should.

Since we're viewing the world from such a limited perspective, the things that naturally happen in our lives can tend to make us feel like it's the end of the world. Our “world” falls apart when things don’t go the way we want them to. We blow things out of proportion, we over analyze small situations, we get filled with anxiety when things don’t happen the way we planned. I've found that it's best to first change your perspective on things before you allow yourself to feel defeated. When you get all worked up over something, ask yourself "Will this matter in 5 years? Does this have eternal consequences in my life" If it doesn’t - drop it.

Here’s a few perspective lessons I’ve picked up along the way:

- Nobody is going to alert the media when he/she dumps you, and the world doesn’t stop so you can grieve. In the big picture: he/she was only put in your life for a reason, they have now completed their task. You're ready for the next stage. Let them go.

- Don't be so upset about not getting the job or not making the team: In the big picture: this door was only kept closed so you will be available for a much better opportunity coming your way. Be excited.

- Stop beating yourself about that stupid thing you did in college/high school/in your past relationship. In the big picture: The people that will be in your life forever will not remember or care about it, and if they do, it's worth a good laugh if anything. It's over. So get over it.

- Stop the anxiety and sleepless nights over that thing that's not happening. God willing, you WILL get into that college/ get married/get pregnant; and it will happen in His perfect timing. Stop getting worked up about it because it doesn’t make the wait go by any faster. Might as well find peace in the meantime. In the big picture: this time in your life is insignificantly short compared to the length of time you have left to live in eternity. RELAX.

- Don't even waste your time discussing what he said/she said, who's cheating on who, what happened last Friday night, and what was said behind closed doors. In the big picture: it doesn't matter. “Fix your thoughts on what is true and honourable, and right, and pure and lovely and admirable. Think about things that are worthy of praise.” (Philippians 4:8).

- Please stop comparing yourself and what you have to the girl next door, the couple that got married in Fiji, the Robinsons across the streets, the CEO that drives the Ferrari. In the big picture: You can’t take any of this stuff with you and the only legacy you'll leave is how much you loved.

 If you are reading this right now, you are incredibly blessed. You have been given eyes to see, you can read, you have access to a computer (or smartphone), you are likely reading this in the comfort of a home or office. You are blessed. You have been given the GIFT of life and the opportunity to make a difference. Think of the BIG picture, and use your time wisely. We don't have a lot of it. 

"When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change."





Passion/Poison

Ok I'm going to just say it - I've been in a toxic relationship before; and I know I'm not alone here when I confess that. It's not something I pride myself on, but thakfully I've gained a lot of wisdom and learning experience from it. Toxic relationships are flat out painful, and real love is not supposed to be painful. Toxic relationships lead to a dead end, a broken heart, a bruised ego, and many other unattractive bits and pieces of yourself torn apart and scattered which you must piece back together with time. It's UGLY, and my heart goes out to you if you have ever been in one yourself, or know anyone who has.


Toxic relationships happen when one or both partners are not complete on thier own. They enter relaitionships from a place of need - they need the other person to make them feel special and loved because they are lacking that in themselves (and in many cases were deprived of that from one or both of thier parents). They look to their partner to meet all thier needs, and they'll set unrealistc expectations of them to meet. They are broken inside, and they need healing. This person may not even be aware of the healing that needs to be done, and so they continue to enter into the same types of relationships with the same types of people that will continue the cycle of hurt, because they feel they somehow still deserve it. They haven't dealt with the problem once and for all, so it keeps rising to the surface again and again...


So how do you know if you are currently in a toxic relationship or not? Here is a short list of the characteristics of Love vs. Toxic Love (Credit to Melody Beattie & Terence Gorski):

1.   Love - Development of self is first priority.
     Toxic love - Obsession with the relationship.

2.   Love - Room to grow, expand; desire for other to grow.
     Toxic love - Security, comfort in sameness; intensity of need seen as proof of love.

3.   Love - Separate interests; other friends; maintain other meaningful relationships.
     Toxic love - Total involvement; limited social life; neglect old friends, interests.

4.   Love - Encouragement of each other's expanding; secure in own worth.
     Toxic love - Preoccupation with other's behavior; fear of other changing.

5.   Love - Appropriate Trust 
     Toxic love - Jealousy; possessiveness; fear of competition.

6.   Love - Compromise, negotiation or taking turns at leading. Problem solving together.
     Toxic love - Power plays for control; blaming; passive or aggressive manipulation.

7.  Love - Embracing of each other's individuality.
    Toxic love - Trying to change other to own image.

9.   Love - Self-care by both partners; emotional state not dependent on other's mood.
     Toxic love - Expectation that one partner will fix and rescue the other.

10.  Love - Loving detachment (healthy concern about partner, while letting go.)
      Toxic love - Fusion (being obsessed with each other's problems and feelings.)

 12. Love - Ability to enjoy being alone.
      Toxic love - Unable to endure separation; clinging.

If you refer to my post "I Didn't Learn That in School" you'll remember how I said that the universe will present to you what you need to learn. Sadly, if you are in need of healing and have some growing to do, with unfailing kindness, a person will come into your life in which you will get  the opportunity to do that. With each goodbye you will (well, you should!) LEARN. You learn, you heal, you re-evaluate your choices, and you gain better discernment for next time. That's just life and part of growing up. You're definately not alone *cough*...  

When you come to the time in your life where you are complete and whole on your own, lacking nothing - that is the best time to enter into a relationship if so desired, and again, the universe can and will present you a special someone when the time is right. I'm still waiting patiently by the way... ;-)  

"Consider it all joy...and let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing." - James 1:2-4

Try this on for size - Part 2

(Thank you to those of who you have taken the time to write me and offer your positive feedback on my last post. I truly appreciate it. Due to the popular response and the fact that I feel so strongly on the subject, I decided to write a continuation of my last post! Enjoy!)

It’s the unfortunate truth that those that don’t know you personally tend to base their ideas and opinions of your inside (your character and personality) based on your outside (your clothing and appearance). With that being said and in accordance with my last post, I feel that it’s important to let the real YOU shine through from the inside out. Embrace your individuality. Be yourself. Allow your appearance to be the cherry on the top of your irresistible inner beauty.

I remember being in Jr. High and High school and feeling the constant competition to look the best. I would race out to the mall to keep up with all the trends. I would buy the most outrageously expensive jeans (which ended up being not cool anymore 6 months later). I had to have the same brand of purse that was currently “in”, and it didn’t matter that I couldn’t afford it whatsoever. I had to fit in, so that meant wearing basically the same things as everyone else. Conform, or be left out. Sound familiar at all? Yes, never would I DARE to wear something funky and different; that was like social-suicide. I remember constantly comparing myself to other girls. I felt so inferior when I noticed a popular girl wearing a brand name expensive hoodie – but what do you know – a week later the whole class shows up in the same brand name expensive hoodie to keep up with her. It’s exhausting, it’s expensive, and there is no quicker way to dim your light shining through than to be a follower.

I feel like your outside is a natural extension of what you feel about yourself on the inside. To be authentic and to be your most confident self, it requires you to not try to be anyone else. We don’t need a second-version of anyone else, we need the first you. You’re different. You’re unique. You were created with so many different quirks and personality traits that it’s truly a shame to not embrace them and let them shine through in order to feel acceptable to others.

Isn’t it funny how the people that are truly unique and different are the most intriguing? Please ladies, don’t worry about fitting in. YOU be the trend-setter. The most stylish and attractive outfit you can wear is something that is truly reflective of your gorgeous inner beauty. If that means you are wearing a completely fashion faux-pas of an outfit that will land you on a “worst dressed list” somewhere, then so be it! If you are wearing something that was “sooo five years ago” big deal! Be real. Be you. Take it or leave it. Let it shine through.

What does YOUR outside say about your inside?

Try this on for size

I used to be plagued with an addiction... a shopping addiction. I remember feeling like I absolutely required a brand new outfit, complete with shoes, handbag, and jewelery, every single time I went out with my friends. Every weekend was an exciting opportunity to wear a new outfit and look fabulous (although if I look back at pics now... fabulous was NOT the word for it, haha). This went on for longer then I'm willing to admit, and well, there comes a point where you need to grow up (or your credit cards get maxed, whatever comes first).

As a fully recovered shopaholic, let me tell you this: That path leads to a dead end. It's a problem that needs to be addressed, and it's actually a greater problem then I can dive into in one post alone, but I will touch on one key truth about it - and this is that there is no amount of money and energy that can be spent to cover up any ugliness on your inside.

When I think back to my reasoning behind my shopping expeditions, I can carry it back to the root cause of wanting to feel beautiful and worthy, acceptable and desirable to others. I thought that if I looked good, I would feel good, and only then would I be able to walk confidently and have a fun night. This is not the purpose that clothing was created for! I used fashion to cover up my flaws inside. My lack of self-confidence drove me to the mall every weekend, so I can buy a pretty new "band aid"; a temporary fix to solve my problem for the night. Knowing what I know now, I wish I could go back to Lindsay 10 years ago and tell that poor girl this:

- That you should be devoting your time and energy on developing your INSIDE not your outside

- That you should focus on building your character, because you character is the only thing you want to attract people with

- Any relationship that is based on outward beauty and physical attraction is sadly an incredibly superficial relationship, and likely will not pass the test of time

- Don't buy into this lie! People will spend millions of dollars each year buying into the lie that beauty can be bought

- That sometimes the prettiest girls with the nicest outfits are the ones that are the most jealous and insecure

- That attracting people with your outward beauty should not be as important to you as attracting people with the virtue and character displayed in your life

If you find yourself like I did, with "nothing to wear" and a closet full of clothes, try reflecting on what you're really missing, and what can't be bought at the mall: Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. These are the beautiful virtues that will carry you through, and create an irresistible inner beauty that will last a lifetime; long after the wrinkles set in and you can't fit into your skinny jeans anymore. ;)

Soul Poison

When you are gripped with resentment towards anyone, it is like poison to your soul. It's been said that "resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die". It truly is an emotionally debilitating condition when unresolved. 

There are countless numbers of injustices in this world. Every day terrible things happen to good people. Everybody has a heart-breaking story they could tell you. All too often people are used, taken advantage of, humiliated, rejected, abandoned, lied to, mistreated, mislead, and disrespected. It's not fair, it's not right; but it's life, and no one said it was a joy ride. Nobody ever deserves it, but nobody is ever sheltered from it either.

When you hold resentment in your heart and soul, you are making someone else responsible for how you continue to feel NOW, even though the offense had taken place in the past. When you hold resentment in your soul, you will continue to HOLD ON to your feelings of hurt and will actually continue to grow in resentment with time. When you hold onto resentment, you are blocking the flow of love into your heart, and you won't be able to fully appreciate all that you currently have. When you hold onto resentment there are serious long-term effects and characteristics that you will eventually develop such as: hostility, a lack of personal and emotional growth, trouble trusting others, loss of self-confidence, and many other consequences that will become a barrier against healthy relationships with others. 

If you have been wronged in the past, and you haven't fully let go of that, please open your heart and take this into consideration: Nobody is perfect, we are all sinners. We have all been hurt at some time or another and I can guarantee you we all directly or indirectly have done something to hurt someone else. The ONLY solution to all of this can be summed up in one word: forgiveness. To forgive is to release the other person from being responsible for how we feel. By finding forgiveness, we are then free to LET GO of our pain. 

Forgiveness frees us from continuing to hold onto our pain. "When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free." Recognize that only YOU have the power to let go of your pain. Keep in mind that forgiveness does not make what happened to you okay. It doesn't free the other person from any burden or guilt they might be feeling from what they've done to you. It doesn't mean you to have to be friends with the person, and it doesn't even mean that you will forget about it. It means that you have found forgiveness in your heart so that you no longer have to suffer anymore from what happened in the past. That person has hurt you enough, why are you letting them continue to hurt you? Why are you letting your past dictate to your future? Why are allowing your suffering to continue while they are likely doing just fine in their lives? THAT is injustice. You have the power to  heal your heart, and cleanse your soul of that poison and get free. 

Take a second to be honest with yourself and evaluate how much of what you're feeling now has to do with the past, and how much has to do with the present. Choose to use your energy and emotions for healing and resolution. Find forgiveness. Find freedom. 

"If you hug to yourself any resentment against anybody else, you destroy the bridge by which God would come to you" 

- Peter Marshall 

I'm Contagious

Nothing kills the mood faster than a "Debbie-downer"; someone who has nothing but negative things to say. Negativity can be contagious. All it takes is one person complaining about one thing and then others will soon chime in with their similar complaints and whines on the subject, and before you know it the whole room is in a sombre bitter mood. Thankfully, I've found that as quick as negativity can be contagious, so can positivity be! In the same way, all it takes is one person to change the subject, clear the air, and lighten the mood. One happy person in a social circle has the power to influence the whole group with their happiness. I have come up with 3 easy ways you can be contagiously happy and positive. I urge you to give these a try!

Break the chain: Gossip is often prevalent in any social group. Get two or more people together and it's only a matter of time before they start to swap stories of what he-said and she-said. When you walk into one of these social settings, make it your duty to break the chain!! If they are talking about how Suzy is wearing an awful outfit, be the first to say something positive about poor Suzy there! Be the first to point out that she has beautiful eyes, or is such a hard worker and a great friend. Break the chain and point out the positive in everyone, everything.

Smile: This one seems so simple, but yet so many times we pass plenty of people throughout our day without so much as acknowledging them, let alone smiling at them. It takes no time and barely any effort at all, but it may very well change someone's mood or get their minds of something negative, even for that brief moment. I was eating in a food court recently by myself, and an older gentleman sat at a table directly across from me. I made eye contact with him and gave him a sincere smile, and he smiled back. After he finished eating, he came up and told me to have a great evening and that was the first time he smiled in a long time. Who knows what he could have been going through, but just the fact that someone acknowledged him, and gave him a smile was enough to encourage him to smile again. It's so simple and it can do wonders for people in ways you may never know.

Dance! Wherever there is music, the opportunity is there! I've danced in the grocery store aisle pushing my cart buying a frozen pizza, I've danced in my car at a red light much to the delight (or confusion) of other drivers around me, and you better believe I'm always on that dance floor if there is one available to me! Dancing is KEY to creating a happy positive environment that is contagious to everyone in the room. Take for example weddings: the funnest and most memorable part of the evening is the dance portion! You don't have to be any good at it, actually it's probably better if you don't have formal training because then you can really let your hair down and give 'er without any reservations or proper technique. Don't worry about what others are thinking, don't worry about how you look, just please take a tip from Lady Gaga and just DANCE. It's simple, it's effective, and it will encourage others to do the same.

You have the power to make someone's day, to change someone's mood, or to be a moment of sunshine in an otherwise gloomy day. Be contagiously happy. Choose to break the chain, smile, and of course... DANCE. :)

"Be truly glad. There is wonderful joy ahead."
1 Peter 1:6



Get Real!

It seems like there are way too many people in society today that are far too sensitive. More and more people seem to be outraged by particular words, images, phrases, music, TV shows, and so on for their lack of political-correctness; (for example, the demand to teach school children that it’s a “Spring Sphere” and not an “Easter Egg”). It really hurts my heart that people can be so intolerant of others, and find it so difficult to co-exist with people of varying cultural backgrounds, religions, beliefs and values. It seems like nowadays you almost need to provide a full disclosure to your audience before you can even speak your mind and be honest, and I feel that there is something incredibly wrong with that…

It’s a decision of staying true to your authentic self, OR censoring your authentic self to be acceptable to everyone else. Now, being a young woman that proudly wears her heart on her sleeve and is not afraid to speak her mind, I've found that most people are appreciative of an alternative view and opinion on matters. I’ve found that it’s far better to be REAL and be YOU than to try to please everyone and not hurt anyone’s feelings. I’ve found that it's exhausting to censor yourself and then live with the many thoughts and feelings left unsaid that will continue to stir inside of you. I’ve found that you can say almost anything if it’s coming from a place of love and not intolerance and hatred. I've found that most people appreciate pure honesty over the sugar-coated truth. I've found that people cannot evolve and grow if they are only being told what they want to hear.

When you stop being YOU and start being what you think everyone else needs and wants to hear, you’re not being real. The core of this issue is lack of CONFIDENCE -  confidence in yourself and in what you believe, confidence and awareness of what your heart tells you, and being fearless enough to share it with the world without the sugar coating. You never know when what you said will linger in someone’s mind and change their life forever, or vice versa! Personally, I have learned some of my greatest life lessons from  listening and contemplating what others had to say.

Here are 10 things you should know:

1. Your hair matters far, far, less than you think

2. In fact, the way you look matters far less than you think

3. "Can I ask a dumb question" is never a good thing to say

4. In fact, asking for permission to speak is never a good idea at all

5. While we're on this subject, don't speak too fast because you're afraid of wasting your listener's time. Listening to what you have to say is the highest and best use of anyone's time. Even if your hair looks terrible.

6. And don't edit what you say before you say it. that would be getting in the way of truth, and worse, of your heart.

7. You are already working approx 25% harder than you have to to get the result you want. Chillax.

8.Don't hang out with anyone who doesn't understand why you're so wonderful, or who needs to be told, or who doesn't tell you at regular intervals or when you forget

9. The little voice you keep ignoring is the only one you should ever listen to.

10. Love

(Excerpt from "What I know now: Letters to my younger self" By Ellyn Spragins)

“He who trims himself to suit everyone will soon whittle himself away.”  ~Raymond Hull

After a while

A good friend of mine passed this along to me a few months ago. It means more to me now than it would have a year prior. I can really relate to this, and I agree and understand it entirely. Thank you L for passing this along!

After A While

By Veronica A. Shoffstall

After a while you learn

the subtle difference between

holding a hand and chaining a soul

and you learn

that love doesn't mean leaning

and company doesn't always mean security.

And you begin to learn

that kisses aren't contracts

and presents aren't promises

and you begin to accept your defeats

with your head up and your eyes ahead

with the grace of woman, not the grief of a child

and you learn

to build all your roads on today

because tomorrow's ground is

too uncertain for plans

and futures have a way of falling down

in mid-flight.

After a while you learn

that even sunshine burns

if you get too much

so you plant your own garden

and decorate your own soul

instead of waiting for someone

to bring you flowers.

And you learn that you really can endure

you really are strong

you really do have worth

and you learn

and you learn

with every goodbye, you learn...